Good Ole Fashioned Payback
by somewhataddicted
Summary: A.U. wild west- A dastardly act years ago changes her life forever and Lauren Lewis decides to take justice into her own hands. As she seeks out her revenge on those that caused it, a dark secret may ruin her one true chance at happiness. Vengeance thy name is Lewis! If you are iffy about reading a western, just go for it! Cop/Doc & Doccubus. Changed to M cover art by A. Behrennen
1. Chapter 1

_****I do not own anything. All characters of Lost Girl are owned by prodigy Pictures.****_

_**Always looking for something new, I am trying out a POV style story with Lauren, with some flashes in third person to other charcters in remote locations. I don't know how long this one will go on, depends on what you guys think. I hope you love westerns!**_

_**At the beginning of some chapters I am featuring pieces of the poem "Sweet Revenge" By Matt Pyke:**_

"Left for dead,  
This worlds so bleak,  
No power left inside,  
Not even for me to speak,

Hurt so many times,  
But never truly healed,  
No you cannot see them,  
My emotional scars are sealed..."

**Chapter 1**

_Kicking and screaming, I can hardly see through my tears as my fingernails dig down deep into the dirt, clawing and praying for anything to hold onto. Terror fills me as someone grabs at my feet and I frantically kick at the air trying to get free. I can feel my heart pound with fear, sweat and dirt covering me as I try and crawl to what I hope will be safety under the house. It is no use. I feel helpless as a strong hand takes hold of my ankle and gives my leg a swift yank backwards. My dress slides up and my belly scrapes along the rocks as I scream and flail desperately hoping that someone, anyone will help me. A fast and hard slap to the face stings badly as I fall to the ground stunned. My own blood on the dirt beside me is the last thing I see as I can feel my body being lifted up and I pass out. _

My body is tense, soaked with sweat from the struggle, but a huff of hot air down my neck causes my breath to catch. My eyes snap open wide, darting wildly into the night for any sign of danger. A steady hand reaches slowly for a gun, ready for a fight until I am nudged gently from behind. I release a deep breath in relief as I slide my hand behind my neck and stroke the soft hair of my one true friend and constant companion over the last five years, Clover. I drop my head back and sigh, it was only a dream, again. Well, not just a dream, a nightmare. A memory of the worst day of my life that I relive over and over in my sleep. I was helpless then. Even though I was just thirteen, I still harbor rage at my own weakness. Something I vowed never to be again.

"Thanks girl" I rasp softly back to the horse. Like the good friend that she is she wakes me, sensing my distress, which is becoming more and more frequent. Clover serves as my protector from a subconscious that insists on reminding me of a fateful day ten years ago that I cannot change. For the third time tonight, a soft nose brushes my cheek and my stressed features melt into a small smile. I move my head to kiss the gentle creature, showing my appreciation for her concern. Occasionally, I wonder how my friend gets any sleep of her own. She probably loves the few nights a year that I find comfort with someone of my own kind.

Lately the dreams are more vivid. Sometimes, like tonight, the same nightmare over and over. As I lie quiet, my body slowly calms down and I can feel the cold air surrounding me as the sweat dissipates. Blindly reaching for the warm covers that I kicked off during the night, I pull the cover back up to my neck and stare out to the horizon. There are still a few stars visible and just for a moment it feels as if Clover and I are the only ones in this world. The inkling of light outlining the mountains is a sign there are only a few hours left until sunrise. It appears there is no peace for me in the near future, but I close my tired eyes and try once again to get any semblance of rest before another long day.

**XXX**

My skin feels warm, the rays of sunshine upon me feel like my mother's touch waking me from my slumber. Just for a moment I forget that she is gone and picture her sitting on the edge of my bed smiling down at me. _"Lauren, it's time to get up,"_ I hear her say, and so I do. Her words are often in the back of my mind guiding my actions each day. The only times she is silent is when I am exacting my punishment, though I have never heard her scold me for it either. I can only assume that means that she doesn't hate me for succumbing to my inner monster. She would never, ever have guessed that her outgoing, peaceful, do-gooder little girl would sink so low as to take another life, much less find satisfaction in it.

It is nice actually, to get a couple of hours of solid sleep for a change. They say that sleep deprivation affects so many things in your body, from mood to reaction time, even lead to mental instability. I laugh to myself, as if I could be anymore unstable. Here I am running around the country in an effort to hunt down the vile creatures that murdered my family and made me their slave. The pursuit of revenge alone will drive a person insane, yet I find the idea oddly comforting. Insanity would infer that I was not in control of these feelings and actions, but I know better. In fact I seem to have no real feelings about my actions. It's black and white, right and wrong, cause and effect. I am simply carrying out the effect of what they caused years ago. I laugh at my attempts to psychoanalyze myself. They always said I was my father's daughter. As a doctor he was always analyzing things. He believed that there was always a logical, scientific solution for everything. I believe it to be true, too...even for payback.

I start the fire and unpack the last bit of oats for Clover. The sun glistening on the river first thing in the morning brings me a rare sense of serenity. The clean, brisk morning air is refreshing to me. Those few moments of each day when everything is new and body hurts from so many nights on the hard ground and so many hours in the saddle. This has been our longest stretch yet, two weeks out on the trail. I slowly slide out of my clothes to take a dip in the icy water and numb my aching bones. Stepping in immediately wakes up the body, but the weightless feeling is one that I wish I could experience more often. I make a mental note to travel near the waterways more often in an effort to get some joy out of this otherwise stagnant life.

Making my way back to my camp, I see Clover watching me intently with those big soft brown orbs. Her red coloring with white blaze and socks glow as the sun gets higher. Such a majestic creature, so powerful yet so very gentle. I guess that could be true for all life in it's own way...and if it made the choice to be so. The ability to choose makes all the difference. It is what distinguishes each of us...our choices. Sometimes, though, is it not possible that you really don't have a choice, but rather a committment to justice? An eye for an eye after all, at least that's how I came about my "choice" after everything I ever loved was taken from me at a young age. My innocence stolen with that comes an inner rage that has taken on a life of it's own, trapped beneath a calm collected exterior, waiting for the next moment to escape its cage.

I gently stroke my hand down clovers neck as I grab yesterdays shirt and towel off from the river. I have one last clean set of clothes that I have been saving for the day we get to town. I'm no hobo after all, and I do like to look my best. Having combed out my hair, I slip on my brown jeans, white long sleeve button down and a brown vest. Looking at my boots, they have seen better days and I know I will need new ones soon. They are a cowgirl's best friend, besides her horse. I place the worn brown Stetson on my head and proceed to my daily ritual of checking my side arms. Each bullet is carefully removed and replaced, spinning the chamber to make sure everything is in working order. The key to precision is not just practice, but maintaining the perfect working order of one's tool.

I pack up my gear, roll up my brown leather jacket and saddle Clover. Today we continue to the north-west to see an old friend. Last I met Tamsin, we made a pact to meet up in a little town close to Yellowstone called Red Lodge, Montana, on the third day of August. If things go well, we can be there tonight. I find myself eagerly awaiting interaction with another human, no offense to my dear four-legged friend, and any news she has on the McCorrigan gang. So far I have only punished the men that for one reason or another were no longer with the gang, but soon, very soon, the old man's time will come.

Besides, I am pretty sure Clover is ready to get rid of me for a day or so, "Ain't that right girl? You need your own space once in a while, huh" I ask her. She throws her head up and winnies sofly, making me chuckle at her response. I imagine she's probably mumbling something about owing her a decent meal and a straw bed, maybe even a gelding to flirt with for all her sleepless nights. She can be such a diva sometimes.

**XXX**

Ten grueling hours later, we ride into town and I look for the nearest saloon, making a mental note of its location so I can make a beeline there once I have met Clover's list of demands. A shot of whiskey sounds so fucking good right now, I can almost feel the burn right now. I find a nice little barn to rent and I quickly unsaddle my friend, bathe her and set her up with a hearty helping of hay and grain. She nudges me and voices her thanks, which I return with a kiss on her muzzle.

I smile at how happy she is now and in the back of my mind I hope that one day soon this will be over and she can relax in a pasteur. I never really think of what my life will be like after all of those bastards are dead, but I often dream of a better life for my best friend. "Now, don't start any fights among the boys tonight" I tell her as I turn with determination, ready for my own reward.

Pushing through the swinging door of the old saloon, I instantly spot the back of a tall blonde with a black Stetson, matching boots and blue jeans. I know immediately that it's her. _"She's early,"_ I think to myself and it makes me happier than I thought it would. I take a moment to breathe in the smell of stale beer and the sound of the piano playing. Pure joy to one's senses when you have been alone and sleeping on the ground for two weeks.

On my way up to the bar, I hear a laugh and feel a hand roughly grab my ass. I stop and turn slowly, sporting a slightly amused grin as I face the man who apparently believes he has the right to touch me without permission.

He's all smiles as he is obviously pretty damn proud of himself. "Hey darlin'. You're a pretty one. How bout you have a drink with me?"

I step a little closer and speak lowly, trying to avoid starting any trouble. I mean I just got here for crying out loud, and all I really want it is a shot and a warm bath...well maybe a little something extra, but we will see how it goes. "I am sorry, but I am here to meet a friend."

I turn back toward the bar and I feel him grab my arm. When I spin back around he is standing up and not looking nearly as pleased as he did a few moments earlier. _"Geeze! Did he not see that I carry a gun? He should pick on some passive girly girl...check that, he should not pick on anyone." _I feel the slightest inkling of my anger rising to the surface, but I choke it down and keep an even keel.

"I don't think you heard me darlin'. I want you to have a drink with me," he growls and squeezes my arm tightly. A few patrons begin to take notice of the disturbance.

"And I said, I was here to see someone, so I will ask you one time to please remove your hand from my arm," my eyes narrow at him in warning and my body tenses as it readies to deliver a beat down. I have tried the peaceful approach and I really hate when people feel the need to test my limits. You'd think a woman carrying two six shooters and fits the description of "The Doctor" could be left alone, but it almost seems to create a bigger challenge, especially to men who must feel threatened by my abilities. Either that or he is just a dumbass. Looking him over, I am going to have to opt for the later.

"Oh yeah? If I don't, what are you gonna do" he scoffs, so sure that this pretty little blonde won't be doing any damage. _"Idiot!"_

"Well, I will tell you that I will _NOT_ be having drinks with you" I reply in an even tone as I reach across, taking the pinky finger of the hand that is gripping my arm and peeling it back before he has a chance to react. I flex his wrist and twist his arm back, on the verge of snapping it as I push him down face first to his table. "I tell you what, I will buy you a drink, courtesy of the Doctor and you leave me alone for the rest of my stay. Okay friend?"

Holding back cries of pain, he nods feverishly. As I release his arm and motion to the bartender to get the man a drink, he apologizes softly while rubbing his injured arm. Moving back to my original destination, I see Tamsin leaning with her back to the bar. She has both elbows propped up and her legs crossed, her usual smug "don't wanna fuck with me" grin across her face with two shots sitting by her side as she motions casually to the stool beside her.

She doesn't move, keeping her gaze on the patrons for any other signs of trouble while I take my seat. "Well, doc, you sure know how to make an entrance."

"Mmm" I mumble as I eagerly slam down the first shot, taking a moment to savor the smooth, oaky taste while Tamsin signals for another round. Not letting go of my poker face just yet I remind her, "Don't call me that. You know I hate that nickname. It's ridiculous."

I never understood how I got the name, but she knows I hate it, we do this every time. I'd say it's frustrating, but it's actually somewhat amusing how she never gets tired of doing it, almost like she's trying to get a rise out of me. I see the woman snicker as she continues to scan the crowd who has gone back about their business. Content that any further disturbances will not be occurring, Tamsin turns her attention to me. "Very well Lauren, what was that about, anyway?" I can feel her blue eyes on me and the gaze is more than friendly.

Quickly throwing back my second shot, I smirk over at her, "He said these jeans make me look fat and I didn't appreciate that. They're my favorite."

The tall blonde ponders for a moment before leaning over and taking a good look at my backside. Ignoring the confused looks from the men sitting around us, she looks back up at me with a wide grin, "Well surely he is an idiot. There is not a finer backside in seven states. Some people just don't know how to talk to a lady."

I roll my eyes and laugh at her ridiculousness, "My, aren't we just the sweet talker. I will tell you that flattery may just get you everywhere," I wink, returning her blatant flirtation. She is definitely attractive, but the bad ass attitude scares most people off. You'd never guess that she is really a caring and compassionate woman, who just happens to be able to make you doubt your decision to challenge her when she steels those eyes at you.

The U.S. Marshall and I struck up a friendship many years ago when I first started seeking my vengeance and I ended up on the most wanted list. I am one of the few people she couldn't stare down and after several not so friendly encounters, I saved her ass from an outlaw who had the drop on her. I guess you could call it a bonding moment and while it's true that we occasionally enjoy one another's company in other ways, our relationship is based on respect and a common goal. I really wanted to hot meal and all the new information she has on the gang, but looking at her right now, I can feel a different kind of desire burning deep inside, one that involves her skin pressed to mine.

I can tell she recognizes the look in my eyes, because she flashes a knowing smirk and holds up a key. I can't help but return a flirtatious smile myself, knowing that our times together have always served as a great release. _"Who needs food anyway,"_ I think as I order a bottle of whiskey and follow her up the stairs.

**TBC**

**_Please review, I love knowing how you all feel about my stories, especially when I try something new!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**I am so happy that many of you are excited for a western. Thank you to those that have taken the time to read/follow/review and PM me about this story, please keep it coming, you inspire and challenge me and I love it!**_

_**I also want to thank those of you who have taken the time to share your thoughts on my other stories, and no worries, Adventures in Advertising update is in the near future, too. :)**_

Another snippet of "Sweet Revenge" By Matt Pyke (2005):

"...The darkness that dwells inside,

Is the living part of me,

I've kept it in for so long,

So much anger never let out,

Struggled with every tantrum,

Suppressing the urge to shout..."

**Chapter 2**

We are lying together, naked and tangled in a mess of sheets. It was all a blur of pulling, kissing and trying to feel something, anything. Slowly, I regain my senses and I can feel her skin against mine, our bare legs intertwined. By the sound of her breathing, I can tell that she has fallen asleep. I must have dozed off for a few minutes as well, but as usual, sleep is scarce for me. I finagle my way out from under her body and make my way quietly over to the table where I pour some water into a glass. I take a few sips and pour some into my hands to run over my face. The cool night air pricks at my bare skin and I shiver slightly but I embrace the cold again, just like the river. There is something energizing about the cold that makes my body feel alive, just as the ice in my veins and my heart powers me to my destiny.

I lean back against the wall and take a good look at Tamsin. She is a beautiful woman. She is smart, loyal and strong and I wonder that if I can't love her, how could I be capable of loving anyone? I know she understands me, but I can tell she would like more from me. I am not capable of more, at least not now, but it brings me a sense of relief that I have made room in my heart for a friend. I almost believe that I could have a normal life one day, maybe...but there is no light in me now, only darkness from what has been inflicted upon me.

On the rare occasion that a spec of light breaks through my dark is when I find myself wishing there was a different woman lying in that bed. One I have only met twice in the last year and a half, but I hope to see again soon. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about her during a long day in the saddle. I figure it's a bit of deliriousness from the monotony and dehydration, but I see her dark hair, soft brown eyes and her dimple. Ah, the dimple has saved me from so many restless nights. I secretly hope that when I do make it to her, she hasn't found someone. I know it's unfair of me to hope that anyone would have an unhappy or unfulfilled life given my story, but when the thought of her does cross my mind, I feel a twinge of jealousy when I think of her with someone else. I have no right, no claim, we hardly even talk, she just holds me and we take care of our needs in a way that I have not experienced with anyone else. It's one sided, this appreciation...I am sure. I mean why would a woman like her care for me? She is warm, loving and hopeful. I'm detached, cold, a monster...a killer. I wander this earth with one sole purpose consuming my mind, my soul. What will I do when my task is complete? When Fitzpatrick McCorrigan is dead, this life I have come accustomed to will end and I know nothing else. What do I have to offer anyone?

Out of the corner of my eye I see the half empty bottle of whiskey. Is it half empty or half full? Such a ridiculous question that is meant to reveal so much about one self, yet all I can think is that either way, in ten shots I need another bottle of whiskey. I grab a glass, another few shots may help to dull the ache in my mind and my chest. It doesn't solve anything. My family is still gone, still slaughtered mercilessly by a little man with a god complex. I still lost whatever good was in my soul while I was under his thumb. Beaten, degraded, treated like a dog. But for a little while, the delicious burn of liquor in my throat fogs up my thoughts and it is a relief.

As I throwback my second shot, I recall how much worse my life could have been had it not been for the kindness of Aife, one of the other women they kept at the compound. She would protect me when they came in drunk, looking to beat or molest or worse. She would convince the animals that they didn't need a child when they could have a real woman. She suffered endlessly on my behalf and as much as I am grateful, I wish I could have stopped it. As my body began to develop more, I knew I had to escape as my time was running out. I still shudder at the thought of them grabbing me from time to time, their disgusting grins and dirty hands on the most sacred areas of my body.

Downing one last shot, I chase it with a a few sips of water, lean my head back and sigh. They will pay for their sins. I will make sure of it. If Aife is still alive, I will free her, though it is probably more merciful if she is dead by now. It has been seven years since I escaped. I am ripped from my thoughts when a raspy voice calls out for me.

"Lauren?"

"Yes" I answer softly, "I am here. Just getting a drink." I make my way back to bed and crawl under the covers with her. She throws an arm over my stomach and moves in a little closer so that I can feel the warmth of her body against my own. It is comforting in many ways, I just wish it would still my mind...I wish it was her.

"Having trouble sleeping again" she asks, concern evident even in her sleep.

"I am fine. Go back to sleep" I tell her and pull her hand to my lips to place a gentle kiss on her palm.

"I call bullshit" she chuckles, keeping on me, even though I can tell she is half asleep and mostly incoherent.

I smile because even half unconscious the woman knows when I am lying. She is good at reading people, that is for sure. "Okay, yes," I admit "but having you here does help. Please Tamsin, go back to sleep."

In just a matter of minutes she is out again and I find that I envy her for that. I brush her hair from her face and take in her beautiful features. It's horrible of me to think of someone else when I am with her. She is a warrior, like me. We have seen death and caused death, but we are both in search of justice and the greater good. We are two sides of the same coin, only she has made her peace and I have yet to forgive. I close my eyes and hope for sleep to find me.

**XXX**

**Ketchum, Idaho**

"Hey! Hey! Bruce, you are either going to take that card you just slipped up your sleeve out and play your true hand, or you are going to get up and leave now" the dark haired girl's voice is firm and authoritative.

The man frowns at her and groans in protest.

She runs over immediately with a scolding look on her face, blue eyes piercing through the man. "Nu, uh! No complaints. Everyone plays fair here or you leave, and don't try to say you weren't cheating cause I saw it with my own eyes. You can't con a con Brucey my man."

"Fine" he spits and throws his cards on the table to reveal only a pair of threes. The other gamblers laugh and take his money.

The girl stands behind the large, muscled man and rubs his shoulders. She leans over and whispers in his ear "Just because your my boyfriend, doesn't mean I'm going to let you cheat in our establishment."

Hearing the ruckus a brunette calls out from behind the bar, "Kenzi, everything okay over there?"

"Yeah, don't even give it a second thought, right gentlemen?"

All four men at the table nod in agreement as the girl slaps Bruce on the back and heads over to the bar. She hops up on the end and pats the woman on the back. "Relax, I got it covered. Everything okay upstairs?'

The brunette laughs, "Yeah, Lil Jim got a little too frisky with Jane and I had to put him in his place, but we are all good now."

Kenzi looks around the place and shakes her head, "Damn, must be a full moon or something. everyone's gone crazy."

"Yeah well, let's just hope that's all of the crazy tonight." The brunette lines up some shots and takes one herself.

Just then, the brunette looks up at the tall, handsome man that strides confidently into the saloon with a star on his vest and a gun on his hip ready for action. "Evening, Bo. Someone said there was alittle disturbance here? You gals alright?"

"Yes, Dyson, we are fine. Really, you don't have to run over every time some one tries to cheat at cards." She gets really tired of him always trying to save the day. She can defend herself, a lot better than he knows actually.

"Well, I am the sheriff, so I am just doing my job. Plus, you know I care about you" he says with a smile as he makes his way toward the bar.

Bo smiles "Yes, I know and I appreciate that. but we are fine. really. Thank you. Since you are here, how bout a drink?"

He nods, removes his hat and climbs up on the stool. He is ruggedly handsome with a neatly kept beard and intense eyes that watches her every move behind the bar. He takes a look around the place. It's your typical western saloon with a piano player, some pretty girls a bar and some swinging doors. The difference is the woman that owns it. Out here it is rare for women to own businesses, but she has stood her ground and defeated all naysayers and is now a well respected member of this town. Dyson unbuttons his black vest so he can relax a little more as he gives Kenzi a smile and a nod as she approaches, "Ma'am."

"Don't ma'am me, Dyson," she smiles "you know I am too young and pretty for that."

He laughs heartily, "Indeed, how rude of me, my lady."

"That's better' she slaps him on the leg, "How's Ciara and the kids?"

"They are good, thanks. You should come and have dinner with us one evening, the both of you" he turns to look at Bo "I know the family would like to see you more often."

Bo looks down fidgeting with the glasses, "I know, it's just...I've been busy, sorry." Actually she has been avoiding it completely. Since they dated and he wanted to give her his heart, but she turned him down, things have been strained. He has been nothing but good to her and sometimes she feels a little guilty, but she is happy that he finally got the family he wanted.

He knows better and tries to ease the tension. "No, its alright I get it."

Kenzi takes this as her cue to leave and slips out quietly while Bo looks at her with a pined expression.

"No, it's not like that Dyson" she struggles for an excuse "I will make some time soon, okay"

He nods knowing she won't. "You know, Bobby Ray is back in town. He's going to be taking over his daddy's farm. Maybe you two would hit it off?"

Bo slams her hand down on the bar in frustration, "I am not interested, Dyson. Don't do that!"

"Why? Do you have someone else? Why haven't I met him?"

There is a long pause as she thinks of the mysterious blonde gunslinger and a small smile creeps up, "No, there is no one else. I have told you. I don't need a man to be happy Dyson. I am not looking for that right now okay? I am just happy being me and my saloon."

It was only a second, but he caught the change, "Um yeah sure. Whatever you say Bo. As long as you are happy" he says defeated as he puts his hat back on and leaves.

"Oh Dyson?"

"Yes Bo" he replies softly.

"Um...any new developments out there?"

"One of these days you are going to tell me why you ask that everyday" he laughs. "I heard some McCorrigan gang members have been killed in random places, but otherwise, nothing new.

Her ears prick up at the familiar name, "Really? Wow! Any idea who is doing it?"

"No, but they are doing us all a favor and signing their own death warrant in the process. Goodnight Bo."

**XXX**

I really should have eaten last night. The effect of whiskey and an empty stomach is not very pleasant as I struggle to wake. I finally got some solid shut eye, so much so that I didnt even hear Tamsin leave this morning. I sit up in bed pulling the blanket up to cover my breasts as the chill in the room is actually a little painful in my current state.

I look up quickly as I hear footsteps stop at my door and realize my gun is across the room "Shit! I should know better." My panic dissolves quickly and I let out a deep sigh of relief when the blonde peeks her head in as she struggles to hold the tray of food and get in the door. Quickly, I hop up to help her, ignoring my nakedness as I let the blanket fall to the floor.

She laughs at me as I take the tray, "Well that is one way to say thank you."

I roll my eyes and feel the blush rise in my cheeks as I grab my clothes. Her eyes dragging down my body threatens to reignite my desire as sex with the blonde is never dull. I refocus on my growling stomach and the bit of nausea I feel from the late night liquor.

"Thank you for getting this. I am starving and I have been looking forward to a real meal."

I motion for her to sit as she takes a plate and digs in. There is a comfortable silence as we devour our food. You never realize how much you miss a home cooked meal until its gone. Grits and the small items I carry to eat on the trail get old in a hurry but they keep you alive. She finishes her plate quickly an leans back watching me savor each bite. "Maybe you should cut back on the long trips, doc."

I narrow my eyes at the nickname again, but she just grins Before continuing "So, I hear Mccorrigan is adding to his territories. He is setting up in Spokane and leaving his number one guy in charge back in Texas."

"Hmm I could get to Spokane before winter sets in. I have a lead on a few of the gang in these parts but...does it sound like he will be there a while?"

"From what I have been told, it sounds as if he is setting up camp permanently so I would guess so" she shrugs studying my expression. "Lauren, I am goin with you."

"No absolutely not," I say firmly "This is my fight and I wont have anyone else getting hurt."

"For a moment it almost sounds like you care" her eyes study my expression but I don't show my hand.

"What I care about is good people being safe and bad ones getting what they deserve" I say and meet her gaze with defiance.

Her eyes soften and I almost sense hurt in her voice. "So thats it, huh?"

"Tamsin we've been through this. You've been a great friend to me, but that's all that I am capable of. I don't know that I even want anyone. Opening yourself up... it only invites pain."

"Its a shame you feel that way Lauren. I know you would have alot to offer someone if you ever do let go, and one day it is gonna sneak up on you like a rattlesnake in the forest. Just know that whether you like it or not, you got me and I am coming along, at least for a little bit."

"Fine" I huff "but you better not slow me down and no objections to whatever my plan is and the ones that have a reward it 80/20 me."

Tamsin slaps her hands together excitedly, "Alright then, when do we leave?"

**XXX**

Planning to head out with Tamsin in an hour, I head to the general store to refill my supplies. On my way down the street I manage to garner plenty of looks from passerby who either recognize me, or are just fearful of a stranger with pistols. I enjoy the intimidation as I glare at them from under my hat causing women to hide their children and men to avert their gaze. I have to admit that fear is a powerful emotion and it is easy to see how it is used as a tool. I do enjoy the solitude that I am afforded due to the fear they have of me.

You know, you kill a few folks, one thing leads to another and you become one of those mythical stories that everyone tells, a killer of many, though its really only three plus a few beat downs. They make it sound as if I have toppled empires, little do they know that is my goal. I will slay a king if its the last thing I do. Now and again I catch a glance from a woman or child and I can tell they are envious, that they want to run over and shake my hand but are afraid of what others will think. On that rare occasion I give them a knowing nod and watch them hide their smile. "Ah, the power of being a legend in the west" I laugh to myself, the snicker drawing looks from those nearby as they move quickly away from the crazy lady with the guns.

Inside I overhear a conversation that sounds a lot like they are talking about Murph, the next name on my list. Keeping myself hidden behind some clothes, I listen as they spill all the details, who, what, where, how many. Best of all, Murph is coming to town tonight, so it looks like I wont have to go far to get this one. We can head just outside of town and take care of him there so as not to have witnesses or involve any innocent townspeople.

I collect my supplies and wait till the men leave before I step up to pay. Out of the corner of my eye I see a new pair of light brown boots and I glance down at my own worn pair recalling the other night. These are really starting to hurt my feet so I snatch the new ones off of the shelf and try them on. When I stand up, I exhale in relief, relishing the comfort they offer. I truly cannot recall the last time I got myself something new and a rare smile creeps up my face. As I pay the man, that familiar sarcastic voice behind me remarks, "Ah, no girl can resist a shiny, new pair of boots." I let my smile fade before I turn around and my expression is all business now. I throw my old boots in the trash, grab my bags and walk past her coolly, "Change of plans. Murph's coming to us."

**XXX**

**It may need to clean this up a little later. My computer kept messing up and I would lose some of the story, but I hope it came out well. Reviews please! Let me know how I am doing...**


	3. Chapter 3

_**I pushed through to post this quickly to avoid being poked all weekend via the internet (you know who you are, lol).**_

_**Thank you for those that are indulging me in this new endeavor and I am glad you have liked it so far. We are getting close to Bo and Lauren meeting as well as some twists and turns...I hope you will stay tuned and review please! I love to know what you think and to read your guesses at where the story will go.**_

**Chapter 3**

Tamsin follows me to the stables walking quickly but silently. I am all business now and my senses are tuned to the task at hand. Murph was one of the McCorrigan gang that fateful day. He laughed at us begging and struggling to be free, occasionally slapping me and my mother around while Fitzpatrick tortured my father. Murph is going to die today, I will make sure of that. The rage inside of me steadily building the longer I think about it. Someday very soon, so will that evil old bastard Fitzpatrick McCorrigan.

Tamsin remains silent, I know she can pick up on my mood change and better than to interrupt as I construct a plan in my head. It sounds like there are at least three coming to town, so we will have to be swift in order to avoid injury ourselves. There should be plenty of cover to the west as get closer to the mountains. Saddling up the horses, she looks at me and I give her a nod before pulling myself up onto Clover and we canter out of town toward the hills. About an hour or so later, we agree on an area with two small hills that allow the narrow horse trail to run between them. This will provide cover and enable us to set up the ambush from both sides. I dissect all possible options in my mind. An old friend taught me that...preparing for the worst keeps you from being surprised.

Minutes go by and they turn into hours as my mind begins to drift to days gone by and the possibilities of days yet to come. I wonder what I would have done had my life not turned out this way? Would I have followed my father's footsteps and become a doctor, or been like my mother, a school teacher? Maybe I would have been a gunslinger anyway, but one that does it for the excitement and glory and not because I have a deep hatred for those who destroyed my life. I chuckle a little at the absurdity. There's no way I would have done this, not the proper, parent pleasing little book worm I used to be. No, I was raised to cherish life, protect it as much as possible and now I am hell bent on ending life, at least for a special few. I don't wish harm on the good people. Every once in a while I have to teach someone a lesson in manners, but otherwise, I am content to keep to myself with one good horse and one good friend. Everyone else I ever cared about is gone and I haven't even tried to let anyone else in for more than five years. Tamsin is the closest anyone has gotten to me and sometimes I feel myself pushing her away to protect myself. As much as my time with the brunette still lives in my mind, I have to wonder if I could ever let someone else in? Could I be all she needs? Could I ever be whole again?

My heart grows heavy when I try to think of all the reasons I have become this shell of a person. I can't even say it hurts anymore, just a constant numbing accompanied with anger. They say all things happen for a reason and many days I have trouble talking to God with the anger and rage over the supposed reasons for the murder of two good people and the untimely deaths of others close to me. I highly doubt that turning me into a bitter, vengeful killing machine was at the heart of the lesson either. I exhale hard and close my eyes, attempting to refocus my mind until I pick up the faint rumble of hooves approaching. I sit up and see Tamsin give me a thumbs up.

"Showtime."

**XXX**

As the riders approach I can see that there are three of them. I have to be sure it's him before I attack, but they are still too far out and using a scope could give us away if the light hits it just right. I know Tamsin is waiting for me to fire first, so I keep my eyes on the potential targets and as they slow to a trot through the rocky trail, I can see his hat and I know it's him. The man is a sadist with braids of hair from his victims adorning the rim of his tan Stetson. I set my rifle, aim and fire at his non-shooting shoulder, knocking him off his horse as Tamsin follows suit taking the other two down. Dropping the rifle I hop over the rock I was hiding behind and sprint down the side of the hill. I know I didn't kill him, I wasn't trying to. I want him to look me in the eye, knowing good and well who I am and why it's time to even the score when I do pull my trigger.

Murph is still trying to get to his feet as I reach the bottom. I smirk as I stop about fifty feet away from the older man, staring him down. "Hello Murph. Long time, no see."

He raises a hand to block the sun. I can tell he is trying to figure me out.

"Who are you" he asks angrily, his words more like a growl, "Am I supposed to know you?"

Maintaining calm, I keep an even tone with my eyes locked on him and my hand ready for action, "Oh, I think you will remember me as the little girl you used to abuse after you murdered my parents...you remember the doctor?" He is laughing at me thinking I am some weak woman, well he is in for a surprise, especially as my concern for him as a living, breathing being dwindles more by the second. That little girl is dead and gone. Now there is just the cold hearted bitch that he helped created who plans to spit on his lifeless carcass after I kill him.

"Aw, come on now sweetheart, that was a long time ago. So now what? You got yourself a little gun and you want some revenge? Murph scoffs at me. I can see Tamsin out of the corner of my eye slightly behind him and I shake my head. "Ain't no woman gonna kill me" he laughs "You shoulda been a better shot with that rifle little girl cause now you gonna die!" He sets himself upright, assuming the position as he tries to stare me down, but I'm not flinching.

His words are grating my nerves, but I wait patiently for him to reach for his gun. My lip curls up slightly into a sneer, enjoying this way too much for a life or death situation. I feel no fear, confident that I will prevail and as his hand motions for his gun, I cut him down in an instant. He didn't even get the gun out of the holster. My hand is steady, my aim is true and one shot through the heart gets it done. Tamsin trots up to me, "Whoa, Doc! Nice shooting. Feel better now?"

She is smiling at me but I am in no mood as I walk over and double check his pulse. Content that my work here is done, I drop his arm without another thought. I am not at all bothered about taking this life and I feel a small sense of pride at my work. It is clean and painless. Too good for them really, but looking in their eye as I cut them down one by one is enough for me. One more down and I relax for a moment before nodding to the other two bodies. "Oh, there dead, too" she says with no recourse. I don't think they were on the wanted list, but we can drag him back and collect, she kicks Murph's body. I nod my agreement and whistle for Clover to come over so we can haul the body back.

Two hours later we are back in town at the sheriff station collecting our reward. The Marshall ties up the other two bodies with a nice little story about being ambushed and barely escaping with our lives. It is convenient to have the law working with you at times. We make our exit and I lean against the hitching post. Tamsin looks over at me with a smirk, slapping my eighty percent into my hand and gives me a wink, "I think this calls for a drink, doc!"

**XXX**

A cold beer sure tastes good after a victory. I'm not sure I should be enjoying it, but I do anyway. It doesn't take long for my thoughts to drift back to the one thing that has been consuming my mind for the last few weeks. "I think I am gonna head up to Ketchum for a bit before I go to Spokane." I turn to Tamsin with a slight smile, feeling lighter at the idea of seeing her soon.

The Marshall's brow furrows in confusion, "What's up there?"

I'm not going to tell her, so I shrug indifferently. "Nothing really, I just love those grey, jagged mountains. I think another one of my targets is somewhere along the way...if he's still there." I take a deep breath and sip my beer. I hate lying to my friend, but it's not really anything I want to get into, especially with our interesting relationship. She chuckles a bit, wiping the froth from her lip, "I didn't take you for the sight seeing type."

"Well, life is short, for some moreso than others. I try to take the time to enjoy the little things"

"Mmm...okay, I can appreciate that sentiment." Tamsin takes another sip of her beer but I can feel her still staring at me. I don't even look at her, I jus t ask the question flatly, "What?"

Tamsin looks around and spins to face me full on, so I do the same. "Oh nothing. It just seems like there is something else on your mind."

Damn her and her abilities, but I can't buckle now so I steel my jaw and feign ignorance, "Like what?"

Okay, I can tell she doesn't like that response as her eyes narrow at me suspiciously. "I don't know, you tell me, Lauren. We're friends right?"

"Yes, I would consider you a friend Tamsin." I pick up my beer down and take a big gulp, hoping it will give me a better answer. Her green eyes can be piercing when she is intent on getting an answer. I refuse to let her see me falter. What's on my mind is nothing new, but it is becoming more consuming as I get closer to her. Part of me wants to see what could be, but the idealistic part knows whatever I am hoping for will never be. "Like I said, nothing. Just thinking that this may all be over soon and I will have to find something else to obsess over."

Like maybe a beautiful brunette saloon owner. The thought of her brings a smile to my lips and she sees before I can stop myself. She shakes her head and I know that she is hurt. I feel bad, but this is just one more thing I will keep to myself.

"Fine, Lauren. I know you have your secrets...hell we all do, but I can tell is something different. Whatever it is, I hope it's good for you." she says sincerely and we toast our new round of drinks. "I am planning to head up to Billings for a few days. I have some business to take care of, but despite your protests, know that I am going to Spokane with you." She raises her hand to silence me as I begin to argue, "I will meet up with you in Ketchum in say mid- September. I trust you will be waiting for me, friend."

I sigh. The woman really is relentless, it's one of the reasons she is so good at her job, so I reluctantly agree. I am sure I will need a little help to get through the gang and to McCorrigan. Bad guys never fight fair.

Leaving the saloon that night I head to check on clover, but Tamsin stays a bit longer. I make sure my girl is cleaned up and has some hay and once I am satisfied, I grab my gear and head to the room I got for the night. As I approach the saloon again, I see Tamsin in a heated conversation at the door with someone unsavory looking. Actually the guy looks kinda familiar and as I angle to get a look, I recognize him as one of McCorrigan's gang that I scouted back in Texas. A sudden shock runs through me as I feel a sense of betrayal, even though I don't know what is going on, but when I see her hug him my blood begins to boil. I storm past the entrance on the way to my room and she must have seen me because she comes running out after me.

"Lauren, wait! It's not what you think" she pleads for me to listen but I can't think right now, I am filled with anger at having trusted her. Has she been leading me along all this time? Going to help me get to Spokane and then lead me to my death?

"Tamsin, all I know is that I trusted you, and now I see rubbing elbows with the enemy. There's not much left for me to know about where your loyalties lie." The hurt and anger is evident in my voice, but I refuse to let her see my pain as I rush to my room, ignoring her pleas to listen. I can't hear it right now. I can't imagine any good excuse for what I saw that didn't include me getting double crossed. I plan to get up at the crack of dawn and get out of this town and away from her. I can do this on my own, just like I always have.

**XXX**

**Spokane,**** Washington- one week later**

"Excuse me, Mr. McCorrigan?" A timid young man cautiously sticks his head into the room where an small, older man is laid back in a barber chair with foam on his neck just about to receive a shave. He knows he isn't supposed to disturb the boss during his afternoon shave, but the news that he was given seems to be important so he weighed his options of punishment for not telling the man immediately, versus disturbing him now. Neither was a more pleasing option, but the young man opted for sooner is better.

The barber's face drops and he freezes in place as the old man frowns. "I am sure that you know I am not to be disturbed during a shave, so why on earth would you do such a thing?" His voice dripping with contempt and his powerful aura makes the young man cower.

He looks down and shifts his weight, speaking apologetically, "I am very sorry sir. Yes I know. Umm...we just have gotten reports that several men that were once associated with you have been killed in the last few months between Kansas and Montana. I thought you should know."

Fitzpatrick motions to the barber who pulls his seat upright and he turns to look at the young man, the dark eyes burning holes through him. "I don't pay you to think, son. What's your name?"

"Umm...Mi...Mike, sir" he stutters, keeping his eyes to the floor.

McCorrigan smirks at the frightened boy, "Alright then Mike, since you have already interrupted my personal time, any word on who did the killin'?"

"No...no sir, but a few bounties were collected. A guy named Murph was the last one about a week ago."

The old man laughs heartily, "Old Murph! He was always trouble. Hell, his own mother probably put a mark on his head. It is something worth paying attention to, though. Last few years we lost a few in Texas and Oklahoma that were still with me, some lady killed two of them, but I figured it was a lover spat since those two were always the cheatin' kind. Keep an ear out son, and let me know if you hear of anything else."

Mike perks up a little a having been given a task by the boss himself. "Yes sir. I will." Mike turns to leave letting out a breath of relief, but just as he was about to get away, McCorrigan calls him back.

"Mike?" The old man lies back in his chair again.

Deflated, the young man turns back around, his voice and posture echoing his feeling of dread, "Yes, sir?"

"For interrupting me, as you were specifically instructed never to do, tell Brandt to just smack you around alittle, nothing too severe like broken bones, alright? I gotta keep a tight ship and anthing less than an attack on the farm does not warrant disturbing me, you understand?"

Mike nods his understanding.

"Good. Now consider this your one warning. I think you're getting off easy, but at least the news was interesting. Now get your ass outta here."

Well, it could have been worse. Could have been much worse. "Yes, sir. Thank you sir," Mike says as he takes his leave.

**XXX**

**Challis, Idaho-two weeks later**

After taking my time stopping in various towns such as Bozeman and Dillon on my way to her, I finally stumble upon the other guy I've been hunting in these parts. I lean back against the wall of the saloon which is straight across from the general store. I watch him from under the brim of my hat as old Earl packs his saddle bags. He seems to be alone, making this one easier than the rest. I plan to follow him out of town and take him down there. Patiently waiting while he conducts his business, a several men pass by looking at me awkwardly and a couple of women actually give me a wink. I just tip my hat to them and hide my smirk. It's still pretty rare to see a woman with a side arm in many parts and it's funny how it intimidates many of the men, but seems to attract the ladies. I guess they like bad girls.

Earl finally heads out and I wait several clicks before doing the same in a slightly different direction. A few hours later I have managed to circle around using a wide enough berth that he couldn't see me get ahead of him. I scout a wooded area that is perfect for a takedown and stash Clover out of sight and the line of fire. "Just relax here a bit, girl. I'll be back soon" I pat her on the neck and again I pull out my rifle.

Finding a nice cover, I wait for just the right moment to clip him. Earl rides in, oblivious to any ambush and just as soon as I fire, I drop the gun and start running toward him. Earl is a big man and slow to get up but he heard me coming. As he wearily gets to his feet, I didn't see him reach for a knife in his boot, but when he comes up throwing, I maneuver to avoid it. It was dangerously close, but with my focus on the flying object I also miss him pulling his gun on me. With my heart racing and adrenaline pumping from the near miss, I hardly feel the burn in my side that follows the loud pop. I look down and I'm thankful he's a bad shot as I draw my own pistol and hit him dead in the chest with three bullets.

Earl falls to his knees and drops face down in the grass. Looking down at my side, the blood is oozing out, but he missed anything vital. The bullet went clean through and I am thankful I won't have to worry about getting one removed. I whistle for Clover as I reach down and check for a pulse. There is none and I have to admit I am a bit disappointed I didn't get to tell him who his messenger of death is. I take his extra bullets and kick his lifeless body, "That's for yanking me out from under the house. Rot in hell Earl."

The excitement of the showdown wearing off, I begin to feel the pain and I'm reminded of the gunshot wound. My shirt is soaked with my own blood and I drop to a knee for a second from the shock of it all. I hadn't been shot before. Beaten, whipped, stabbed and emotionally broken sure, but not shot and I realize that it hurts like a bitch. Clover gives me a concerned nudge and I reach into my bag for the medical kit I keep. I learned many useful things helping daddy. Unfortunately I don't have anything left to use as a sterilizer, but at least I can stitch it up real quick and stop the bleeding. I should be to Ketchum soon and I will get it taken care of then. For now, I will ride on till nightfall and hope to camp near the river where I can clean up and burn this shirt. Having the smell of blood on you in the wild is not the best idea.

**Ketchum, Idaho- around the first week of September**

My trip takes longer than planned, probably because I passed out after getting shot and slept half the day away. Needless to say, I didn't get far the next day. As I ride into the quiet town, there are only a few people milling around and I am glad they don't pay me no mind. I head to the stables and tie Clover up next to the trough before heading uptown. The only sounds are the clinking of my spurs and scuffing of my boots on the dirt as I stumble ahead, finally feeling the effects of the gunshot wound taking hold of me. I can see the lights of the saloon up ahead as I slowly make my way up the nearly deserted street. The sun is almost gone and most of the residents in this sleepy little town are turning in for the evening. I stop outside and peer in through a dust covered window, scanning the place for the one I seek, the reason I made this stop even though it is off my path to Spokane. I wonder briefly if the fact that I deviated from my plan means something, like I am afraid of confronting the man that ruined my life, or I am not ready for this life as I know it to end, but deep down it just feels like I am being called here. There is something else inside me that keeps steering me back and I don't really comprehend the reason. All I know is that almost subconsciously I have found myself peeping in the window of an old saloon in the hopes of catching a glimpse of her. I'd like to think I will just look and then be back on my merry way, but as the brunette that graces my dreams every so often looks up at a patron and I see that gorgeous dimple that is burned into my brain, I know I have to go inside.

As if she could feel my presence with a sixth sense, I see her stiffen and look around for the cause of an inner warning. Quickly I duck aside, my heart pounding in my ears like a quarterhorse in a full gallop. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and straighten up, wincing slightly from the pain in my side that weakens me more each moment since I was shot.

When I peer in again, I see her there with her back to the doorway as she busys herself with drying and stacking glasses. Quietly I make my way through the swinging doors, thankful that there are few patrons inside to derail my attention. I stop a few feet from the bar and take a moment to watch her when suddenly I notice her tense up. She takes a deep breath and quickly dries her hands, pushing her dark hair back behind her ear nervously. Her voice is barely audible but I hear her anyway when she says, "Lauren."


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys are unbelievably awesome with your support in my stories and I am so grateful! Thank you for all of it, including the Twitter love. Lost Girl and Doccubus fans are truly the best! :D With that, here is what you have all been waiting for, Bo/Lauren steaminess- enjoy!**

_Yet another piece of the poem "Sweet Revenge" By Matt Pyke (2005):_

_"...Sometimes they ask me,_

_Have I always been this way?_

_It breaks my heart to answer,_

_But it is the truth that I must say,_

_No I have not always,_

_But probably will always be..."_

**Chapter 4**

When she turns to face me I am frozen in place. It has been about nine months since the last time we spent the night together and the sight of her up close right now makes my breath hitch. There is something in her eyes that I can't place. The energy between us is so strong that I can feel how much she has longed to see me and I can't help but wonder if I haunt her dreams the way she does mine.

"Hello Bo" I say softly, my expression is blank as I wait to see how my sudden re-appearance is received. Her look of utter surprise shifts to an endearing smile and I feel my insides melt as the dimple appears just for me. She is stunning even in simple black jeans that flaunt her curves, black boots and a red button down adorned with pearl snaps with her hair pulled back. Her neck is exposed with some trendles of dark hair falling lightly to her shoulders. I quickly recall our last meeting and the way it felt to kiss my way down that neck line and all along the silky skin of her collarbone.

"Hey" she says back, never losing the smile I love so much. "I was beginning to wonder if you would ever come back here." Her eyes sparkle and she waves me over to have a seat but my feet don't seem to want to move, my brain still mesemerized by the exceptionally beautiful woman whose eyes refuse to leave mine as if I would disappear while she reaches for a couple of glasses and a bottle. I watch her quirk a brow, questioning why I'm standing here awkwardly staring at her instead of accepting her invitation. In truth I don't know why. After a while, Bo seemed like some grand idea rather than a reality and I still don't know why I have been so compelled to come back, but I am here none the less. She smirks a little, no doubt reading my apprehension and seeming to enjoy it, "Come on Lauren. Take a load off. I'm sure your tired."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and feel a little woozy. The combination of the infection that has set into my wound, the long trip and the overwhelming feelings that come with seeing her again are too much as I stumble on my way to the stool.

"Whoa, whoa" she jumps over the bar and races to my side, catching me with strong arms and helping me to my seat. I can see the concern in her eyes as she looks me over quickly hoping to figure out what's wrong. "Are you okay?"

"Umm..." my head is spinning and I can't think with her hands all over me. I really want to take her in my arms and kiss her. That's what I cam here to do, but my body has suddenly reached it's limit. I can feel the sweat forming on my body and I resist the urge to pass out, if only for a moment. Reaching for the shot glass she had poured with a shaky hand, I throw it back and push myself up straighter. "Just a little flesh wound, I'm okay. Maybe a little tired," I say forcing a brave smile and holding her brown eyes with my own tired ones.

I see Bo's brow furrow as she stands back and crosses her arms like a disciplining mother. "Well looking at you right now, I'd say it's a lot more than being tired. You are coming home with me. I am going to take care of you." My head is spinning. The shot of whiskey on an empty stomach was not my best idea as I try to protest, "No. Just give me a room here like before. I will be fine, Bo. I don't need a keeper."

She is not even listening to me anymore as she trots over to the dark haired girl that runs the place when she is gone. Through blurred vision I can see them looking at me and nodding. The girl punching her lightly on the arm and smiling as Bo waves her off and shakes her head. I wonder what they are talking about.

"Lauren, where's your horse?" I don't respond as I am lost in a haze and she shakes me a little, "Lauren, stay with me, where's your horse?" I point in some general direction down the road and she immediately says to herself "the stables." I can see her look at me and then motion to the girl to come over.

I must have passed out because the next thing I know I am on my horse and I don't know how I got here. I feel someone behind me, their arms around me holding Clover's reins and we are headed to a little farm up on the hill. My eyelids are too heavy so I let them shut once more. When I open my eyes again, she is pulling me down from the saddle, "Lauren, I need you to help me for a few minutes." I mumble something incoherently and try to find my legs. I regain my strength long enough to let her get me to a bedroom where I feel my body hit the bed and then there's darkness.

**XXX**

When I wake it's daytime. By the looks of the sun, late afternoon as I try to shield my eyes from the glare. I don't know what day it is or where I am. I vaguely remember seeing the brunette but I'm not sure if it was just another dream. I don't remember dreaming at all, or at least no nightmares so I know I must have been in bad shape. As my eyes get accustomed to the brightness of the room, I look around and smile slightly at the quaintness. Lifting up the sheets I blush knowing that someone has undressed me and put me in clean sleep wear. I pull up my shirt to see new dressing with ointment all around the wound. The need to know where I am drives me and I attempt to get out of bed, but my body has other ideas as I fall back and groan. "Shit!"

I hear the door knob and I can hardly believe my eyes when I see that she really is here. The brunette is carrying a tray of supplies and some food and water. Her brown eyes light up when she sees me awake. "Hi there! Glad to see you are up."

I want to talk but my mouth and throat feel like cotton. She waves me off and hands me some water which I sip cautiously. I look back up to her and smile weakly, feeling a twinge of regret. This is not the reunion I had in my head, but I guess my subconscious led me back to her for more than one reason. I'd be dead if I stayed out on the trail. If not from the infection then probably torn to shreds by coyotes after passing out. She takes the glass and brushes my hair back from my eyes. Her touch leaving a burning trail across my face as I watch her smile at me adoringly. There's that look again and I feel a little insecure not knowing what it means. As her hand pulls back I am able to catch it and I choke out, "Thank you, Bo."

I can still feel her eyes on me even after I close my own. I really just want to pull her down on me, kiss her everywhere, but this damn body is not cooperating, so I have to push down my desires for the time being. I pride myself on my control and no one makes me struggle with control the way this woman does. After a moment I sigh and reopen my eyes to find her sitting in the same spot staring at me longingly, which is not helping me curb my own feelings at the moment. Bo looks like she wants to say something as she bites her lip slightly, but I can tell she changes her mind as she lets out a hard breath and looks to the tray. "I brought you some soup. You wanna try and eat a little?" I nod and as she tries to spoon feed me I object and carefully take the bowl from her. This draws a little chuckle from her. "So stubborn." I feel her lift the corner of my shirt and pull back the bandage. Her finger tips graze my skin. I don't know if she did it on purpose or not, but it felt electric and its all I can do to not spill the bowl of soup. She smiles sincerely at me, "I'll be back in a few minutes and then I'll change your bandage." She places a warm kiss on my forhead and heads out the door.

In merely a matter of minutes I finish the soup. I didn't realize how hungry I really was until that first spoonful. I haven't eaten real food in days. Bo hasn't come back yet and now I hear some other voices in the house. My curiosity getting the best of me, I will my aching body to move so I can listen in. Using the chair to stabalize myself, it takes several moments before I can safely bear my weight and shuffle toward the door as quiet as possible. Wincing, I lean against the wall for support and place my ear against the gap by the door. It sounds like Bo, another woman, maybe the girl from the bar, and a man. Bo doesn't sound too pleased by the conversation. I press harder hoping to hear a little clearer.

_Man: "Bo, you don't really know anything about her. Her type always end up bringing trouble."_

_Bo: "I'll have you know it's not the first time we've met and there's never been any trouble. Is she wanted for something?"_

_Man: "No. I don't think so, but if she is who I think she is, you need to be careful."_

_Other woman: "Yeah, Bo, we just want you to be safe, ya know?"_

_Bo: "I know, Kenzi and I love you both for it, but I am a big girl and whoever she is, I know her. Dyson, I know you are the sheriff and it's your job to look out for everyone, but believe me when I say, I am fine and I will let you know if I need you."_

_Dyson: "Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you."_

_Bo: "So noted. Goodnight Dyson."_

Ah, yes. Kenzi is the other girl's name from the saloon. Dyson? He's the sheriff, if I recall, a tall lean scruffy looking gentleman. His tone sounds like a little more than concern for a casual resident. I feel a twinge of jealousy flare at the thought of him with my Bo. Did I really just say that? My Bo? I am so far ahead of myself. I don't understand these thoughts and emotions, but I doubt she shares them. How could she? we don't know one another and for all I know she has someone in her life by now.

_Kenzi: "So, how's your pretty little cowgirl doing, anyway?"_

_Bo: "She's not MY cowgirl, and she finally woke up, so...better."_

_Kenzi: "Say what you want, but I saw they way you looked at her last night and you haven't been the same since the last time she was here so..."_

_Bo: "So...? Nothing. Yes, I like her. There's something about her...I can't explain it."_

_Kenzi: "I can. It starts with the letter "L" and sounds like dove. Do you think she's an outlaw? A bad girl? That's sexy, not that I am into the ladies."_

_Bo: "Don't be ridiculous, Kenzi. She's not a bad girl or an outlaw or she'd be wanted and I am not in "L" with her."_

_Kenzi: "But there is definitely something. I've known you too long. Just be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt."_

_Bo: "Thanks. You are my like my sister and I know you watch out for me, but believe me when I say I can take care of myself. Can you manage the saloon for a few days? I am going to stay and take care of her."_

_Kenzi: "You got it babe! I am here to serve."_

_Bo: "Yeah, yeah, just don't drink all of the expensive liquor, please? We got a business to run."_

_Kenzi: "Okay, okay! Geeze. I will do it because you are my best friend and I love you. Now go on and check on your woman."_

_Bo: "I love you too. Thanks Kenzi."_

Hearing them say their goodbyes I hurry to get myself back to bed, knocking over the chair in the process. "Shit!" Stupid, clumsy, hurry up Lauren before she finds out you were snooping. I hear her call out, "Lauren, you alright?"

I manage to get close to the bed at least before she comes through the door. I am winded with a light sweat breaking out but I try to smile, "Sorry, I just wanted to go to the bathroom." I lie, but she buys it. Her look of concern eases some as she wraps an arm around me and helps me over. "You should have asked for help. You are stubborn as a mule you know that" she laughs and sets me down. "Sorry." I lie again, trying to hide my smirk. I'd do it all over again just to feel her body against mine.

When she puts me back to bed I keep ahold of her hand, "Will you sit with me for a while" I ask and pat the spot on the bed next to me. Even her half smirk is amazing and makes my insides melt when she cups my cheek, "Of course." She pulls the sheets back and climbs in, pulling me in close as she runs her fingers through my hair. Though I have only been with her two times previously, those are probably the only two nights in the last many years where I slept peacefully. I cannot explain it, but looking in her eyes feels like home...well, at least how I try to remember home feeling like...safe and warm. "Mmm, that feels nice" I let my eyes fall shut as her touch soothes my pain. "Thank you for all you have done for me. Any chance you know where my horse is?" I am sluuring a bit as I am quickly falling asleep, the exertion of sneaking around mixed with the emotions about Bo are exhausting what little energy I had.

"A true cowgirl through and through" I can hear the smile in her voice "Clover is here in my pasteur and looking quite happy about it" she says and kisses my head, her hand still moving through my hair, stilling my mind. "Good" I mumble, "she deserves it." I can fell her laugh but trying not to shake the bed. The last thing I think before sleep overcomes me is how good this feels right now and how much I don't deserve her kindness.

**XXX**

I am awake again and this time I can tell it is much earlier in the day, not even noon yet. I feel much better than the day before and as I pull back the bandage, the wound is also looking much better. Bo must have changed it again after I fell asleep. I can tell the stiches were redone recently too, because they are much neater than mine were, but how well can you do on yourself with a fresh bullet hole in you and the rush of almost dying coursing through your veins? I sit up and swing my legs around with much more ease, making my lips curl up into a small smile. When I stand and walk to the bathroom I am almost giddy. Sitting still has never been my strong point. It had only been two days or so, but I can tell my body needed that rest much more than I had known. The wound was just the last straw.

Through the window I see Bo out in the pasteur brushing Clover who is flirting with some other horses in the field. "Such a diva" I chuckle. I turn my attention to the face in the mirror and cringe. Is this what Bo has been looking at? Goodness I look like death. I run some water and get myself cleaned up. There are some days when nothing feels as good as cool water against your skin and today is certainly up on that list. I pull some clean clothes from my pack and decide on blue jeans and a white and yellow short sleeve button down.

There is still pain when I bend over and a few other movements, making it difficult to dress, but I slowly I manage to get into my pants. I walk out of the bedroom still buttoning up my shirt, but I only get half way when I see her standing at the kitchen sink. My heart stops and I am taken by the sight of her. The rays of light cascading around her makes it seem as if she is glowing and the outline of her voluptuous body is barely visible through the light yellow sun dress. Her hair is down today, falling freely along her back and shoulders. It sounds like she is humming something as she washes the dishes. I tip toe closer to the room but stay quiet and I feel like I am burning a hole through her with my eyes but I can't bring myself to look away, I can't speak.

"You're up," she says knowingly, but doesn't look back at me. I thought I was quiet enough but apparently not. I clear my throat and swallow hard. "How did you know I-"

I am cut off as she tries to explain, "I don't know, I can just feel when you are near. Just like the other night when you came back to town. I just knew."

I can tell she is smiling, but she keeps to her task. I begin to walk closer, still doing my best to be silent. Like a caring mother she reminds me of what I should be doing, knowing darn well that I am too stubborn to listen, "You should be resting. You were in a lot of pain. It takes time, Lauren."

I don't say a word as I stop right behind her, not touching yet, but admiring her. She is so kind, gentle and caring, everything that I am not. Maybe that is why I keep coming back. I will never be those things and with her, I get to experience again what it feels like to have that in your life, if only for a few moments.

I slowly slide my arms around her waist and push my body against her back feeling her warmth against me. She tenses slightly from the surprise, but relaxes quickly, letting her body fold back into mine. She fits so perfectly. I nuzzle my nose into the crook of her neck and inhale. As if the feel of her isn't enough, her scent is infectious and drives my senses wild. I hear her gasp as I begin to kiss and nip my way up her neck while my hands glide across her waist and down her hips. I stop at her ear and whisper, "It is more painful being so close and not touching you." Sucking on her ear lobe I feel her knees buckle slightly and she pushes back into me harder. The gesture causes me to moan, wanting so much more from her, but trying not to rush it. I want to savor my time with Bo.

Turning off the water, she spins around and leans back against the sink, pulling me in close and draping her arms around my neck. I feel her hands tangle in my hair sending a shiver down my spine and I let myself smile a little. I close my eyes and lean my head back for a second, enjoying the feeling before bringing my eyes to meet her soft brown ones once more. They are filled with questions, concerns and something else more than lust. I can tell she wants me just as much as I want her and I feel my eyes turn hungry as the desire to have her is spilling over. I see her cheeks begin to blush. "How do you do that" she breathes out softly, touching our foreheads together. My brow furrows, not sure what she means. "What," I ask and study her expression curiously, but she closes her eyes and smiles, leaning closer so that her lips are brushing mine. "Make me feel like the most beautiful thing in the room with just a look?"

Hearing her say that strikes something deep inside of me and I feel the overwhelming need to express the way I see her. "Because...you are, Bo. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. You are beautiful inside and out." I kiss her softly on the lips and she pulls back a little forcing me to open my eyes in concern that I had done something wrong. She looks deep into my soul with those brown pools and says, "That's how I feel about you, too."

I can't believe what I am hearing. She obviously doesn't know who or what I am. I shake my head at her, no one could truly say that about me. I am broken inside and out and I don't deserve her. I am struck with the sudden urge to run away and save her from the heartache I am sure to cause. She won't let me get out of her arms, forcing me to look at her, "You are, Lauren. You are beautiful and good. I don't know what happened in your life, or who made you think otherwise, but I can see it here" she touches my face, "and here" she places her hand on my heart.

I feel the tears welling up in my eyes, overcome with feelings that I had long since thought extinct. I am fractured inside, one small part living in the dream of a little girl with a family and the rest an adult in the cold reality of an unforgiving life, yet here is this woman trying to piece me back together again, if only for a moment. "You don't know me Bo, not really. You wouldn't say it if you did," I continue to fight her. I have to make her see that I am not what she believes. I don't want to hurt her later when she realizes the truth...that I am not caring like her. That I am killing for vengeance and I have no regrets about it. That I don't know what it means to let someone in or to trust...or to love for that matter. What kind of truly good person can do that? Shouldn't you feel something for taking a life? My inner struggle is evident in my pained expression.

"We are more alike than you know, and I see through you, Lauren. I see what's inside if you ever allow yourself to be set free." Those chocolate orbs looking into my soul makes me feel stronger, like maybe I could be the person she sees one day, but I am not that person now and I don't know if I could be, or even if I want to be that person. I can tell she is studying my reaction as her thumb brushes an escaping tear from my cheek. "Lauren, I know bad and it's not you. The way you look at me, touch me...I can feel what you are deep down. You couldn't make me feel this way if you were a bad person." I swallow hard and close my eyes at her touch as her thumb unconsciously continues to stroke my cheek. I let my head drop down as I process what she said.

Her words are like a priest giving me penance. It doesn't change who I am, what I've done or what I will do tomorrow, but for a brief moment in time, I feel a little bit better about myself. Her belief in me is comforting, even though I know I will let her down later. I have never wanted anyone the way I want her right now. Want is not even the right word...need is more accurate. I need her like my body needs water. I need to feel her against me and prove to myself that this is real, that I am alive...to feel her want me. A gentle hand lifts my chin up, urging me to open my eyes and when I do, I see the need reflected back in hers. I throw all thought and fear out the window and react to what my body is aching for as I reach my hands into her hair and smash our lips together in a furious passionate kiss. Our mouth's melt into one another, moving in rhythm as if we have practiced this a million times and I can feel her heart pounding just as hard as mine. Allowing my hands to drift down her back and along her thighs, I slowly let my fingers hike up her cotton dress. I know I need air but I can't bring myself to leave her lips so I glide my tongue along her top lip asking her for more. She gladly parts her lips allowing me entrance, our velvety tongues touch and tease while I bask in the taste of Bo. She sucks on my bottom lip and a moan escapes from deep within me. I feel her smile into our kiss and I am about to lose my mind.

When I finally work her dress up and my fingers graze the skin of her thigh she has to pull back and gasp, her kiss swollen lips and dark eyes driving me even more crazy as the passion between us is like none I have ever experienced before. Watching her face as I let my fingers travel along the waist band of her panties, I see her drop her head back, freely giving herself to me. I smile when I reach her soaked core and her breath hitches as I dip one finger in. "God Bo," I moan. I could come undone just knowing the wet desire pooled between her legs is for me. She smiles at my sudden weakness as she pulls my hand out, slowly bringing it to her lips and slipping them into her mouth, tasting herself on my fingers. It's my turn to feel my knees buckle as I feel a jolt to my core. I am at the mercy of this amazing woman. If she were a trained assassin I wouldn't even put up a fight.

She flashes a devilish grin and grabs my wrist, leading me to the bedroom. She gently lays me down and begins to undo my pants, pulling them off as I lie there in awe of her. Bo's smile reaches her eyes as she straddles me and undoes the few buttons I had on my shirt, letting it fall open to expose my breasts. "So beautiful" she whispers as she lets her tongue begin to tease my nipples while her hands explore my body. I arch into her, allowing her to have full access to whatever she wants. My hands slide up her dress and squeeze her firm ass which makes her whimper and bite my neck, bringing a smile to my face.

"Take these off." I tug on her underwear and she carefully moves off of me to comply with my wish. My eyes go wide as she seductively brings them down in a little dance, biting her lip as I watch. I pull her close and lift the dress over her head so that I can finally see her fully. Those large perfect mounds that I long to suck, silky skin I can't wait to feel against my own and a dripping center that begs for my attention. I push myself further up the bed and invite her on top of me, sighing in relief when I can finally get lost in the feel of her naked body against mine.

It's true that no one makes me feel the way she does. Sure, I sleep with Tamsin on occasion, but it's not even a competition. I don't feel the warmth with the blonde, nor the safety or peace that comes to my body, mind and soul like it does with the brunette. I don't really know what it means in the grand scheme of things, but in this moment I can honestly say I have no desire to figure it out. For once I don't want to think. I can do that tomorrow. Most times, real life cannot compete with our dreams, but as Bo and I keep our gaze locked in the throws of passion and I hear her scream my name, I let go and give myself to her, and it is so much better than even my wildest dreams.

TBC

_**So there you go, a whole update of just Bo & Lauren. Please let me know what you think, your comments motivate me!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hard to believe I am this far along already and I am so happy that so many of you are joining me on this adventure. Seems some took a while to try out the idea of a western theme, but stay tuned because there is plenty left to reveal and some twists ahead. As always, you guys rock!**_

**Chapter 5**

The blinding sun wakes me from a peaceful sleep and I know that it is late afternoon. I groan and throw an arm over my eyes to dull the pain from the brightness. I am a little aggravated that the rays deem it necessary to wake me up knowing how rare it is for me to truly sleep. As I shift slightly, I feel my whole body ache and I know I over did myself during the several, intensely passionate exchanges with Bo. It was so worth it, I smile to myself and turn to look at her passed out beside me. If I thought she was breath taking this morning, the sight of her right now is like the Mona Lisa. Lying naked on her belly, head turned toward me with both arms overhead and her long, dark mane splayed over her back and arms. She has a content smile on her lips and as I watch, her brows twitch a little in her slumber. I was feeling no pain thanks to the forces in my body that wanted that woman more than it wanted rest.

I so badly want to reach out and touch her, but I also don't want her to wake up. This is a moment I will burn into memory for those long nights on the trail. I actually had a nice dream for a change. I was back at the little cabin with the old husband and wife who took me in of the street after I ran away from McCorrigan. I was sixteen and it was Christmas. Even though I had only been there a few days and was suspicious of everyone for fear that they would tell him where I was, they had gotten me gifts. She had made me a sweater for the cold since I had no clothes and he bought me a little doll. It wasn't much, but the gesture meant something to me. I hadn't spoken much since they took me in, but just the fact that they did something nice for me prompted me smile a little and thank them. Never having any children of their own, it made them very happy help someone less fortunate and to experience one Christmas with a child.

Lost in thought, I didn't notice her eyes flutter open, I just heard a raspy voice, "Lauren, you okay?" Barely awake and she's already worried about me. I didn't realize I needed such looking after. I stare at her, still taking in her beauty after she had closed her eyes once again. "A little sore," I chuckle, "but I am good. How are you?"

"Mmmm...I'm good since you are still here," she smiles a sleepy smile and my lips curl up slightly at her remark. The two times we met previously, I was hot on someone's trail and left long before she awoke. I think deep down, I didn't want to wake up next to her for fear of this exact feeling...never wanting to get up. Now that she is awake, I let a finger trail down her back lightly, reveling in the shiver my touch elicits. She lets out a low moan that makes my core ache when I trail that finger back up her back. Bo grins brightly, blinking away the sleep from her eyes and looks up at me with sparkling brown eyes. She drapes an arm over my waist and pulls herself in closer. "I really don't think your body could handle another round Lauren. I'm actually surprised we did as much as we did."

"Yeah well, you know us cowgirls. Tough as nails," I laugh even though it's painful. The brunette catches me wincing slightly and kisses me on the shoulder, as she gently strokes across my belly, carefully avoiding the wound in my flank. Her touch is soothing and I find myself sighing and closing my eyes.

"I guess I know I just need to shoot you to get you to stay for breakfast," she smirks.

"Nah, apparently I will get back on my horse and pass out a few days later," I say sarcastically.

"True. So,what were you thinking about before?"

"Hmm?" I try to deflect her question.

"A few minutes ago when I woke up, I could tell you were somewhere else. What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing really." She sits up and catches my eyes with hers, I can see the warmth and sincerity in them mixed with a pleading to let her in, but I won't.

"Lauren, you know you can trust me, right?"

"I do, but this has nothing to do with trust," I say, and it doesn't but the truth is I don't really trust anyone. I had come to believe in Tamsin only to find out she is involved with the men I am out to take down.

"Okay, well if you ever want to talk about anything, I am a good listener. Besides, I'd like to know a little bit more about the mysterious Lauren Lewis," she smiles softly and kisses me gently on the lips. "I am going to take care of the animals and then make us some supper."

"I'll help," I say but as I try to get out of bed the pain stops me in my tracks.

"No Lauren, I think we've done enough damage for one day."

I smile back at her. "I am glad you are sharing the blame."

While she is out, I keep trying to get out of bed. It takes a few painful tries, but finally I am up and somewhat dressed in pajamas, which was all I could manage to get on. She frowns when she comes back in and sees me out bed, but I just give her a stubborn grin, swallowing down any fatigue or discomfort I am feeling. It is not in my nature to lie in bed and wait, so the quicker I get my body going, the better.

**XXX**

At night we have a light meal and some casual conversation trying not to get into anything too serious, for which I am thankful. I know she wants to learn more about me, but there is not too much I care to share. Bo sits beside me, running her fingers through my hair until I doze off, making me feel a little bit like a child being rocked to sleep. I dream one of the last days with my parents. I see my dad come out of the house with tears in his eyes. Mom giving him a comforting hug and him explaining to the men that he did all he could to save the young woman, but that she did not survive her wounds. The men are furious, grabbing my father and shaking him roughly while my mother yells at them to let go. After several minutes they ride off and my father breaks down. I run to him and he hugs me tightly. His compassion and love for helping others is something I envy and seeing him so upset when he couldn't save someone makes me proud that he is my father and a doctor, saving lives for as many as possible. Once he is sure that the men are gone, he has the body hauled off in a carriage. That was two days before they were killed.

**XXX**

This morning I am feeling much better both mentally and physically. I see Bo outside collecting eggs and I decide that making breakfast for the two of us would be a nice way to thank her. I rarely cook, but it is something I rather enjoy. It is a simple act that makes me feel normal. I heat up the stove and warm the oven, quickly throwing together the ingredients for an omelet with bacon and biscuits. Bo comes back into the house and the wonderful aroma overwhelms her senses.

"Wow, that smells great, Lauren. I didn't know you could cook."

"I've picked up a few things over the years," I smirk and watch her clean off the eggs to store.

"You should be resting," she says without looking up, "but I appreciate it. I am starving. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you...for everything, Bo. I am feeling much better."

She smiles softly, but I see sadness in her eyes. "I am glad." There is a brief pause and I can tell there is something else on her mind. She glances up at me and then back to her chore and I just remain quietly watching her. Finally she asks me cautiously, "So umm...does this mean you are leaving, because you are more than welcome to stay a while."

I see her try to maintain a brave front, but her eyes give her away. She wants me to stay and while I know I must leave eventually, I am enjoying my time with Bo. A little while won't hurt, besides I really need to heal a little more before I face the man who took away my life. I wish I would have been able to meet Bo as the caring person I once was instead of this shell of a woman. She deserves better.

"I do have somewhere to be, but I think I need to rest a bit longer, so I may take you up on the offer. You sure it's alright?"

Her smile turns brilliant at my accepting her offer and I feel my heart pound at the way she looks at me with those adoring eyes. "More than. You can stay as long as you like Lauren." She walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek. "Honestly, I like having you around."

I can't help but smile at the unexpected words and I look at her in disbelief. She catches my questioning gaze and shakes her head, "Yes Lauren," she takes my hand, "It is possible for someone to enjoy your company. You're smart, funny, beautiful and passionate."

I am quickly becoming uncomfortable with her compliments and I gently pull away, pretending to need my hand for cooking. I am none of those things, well maybe passionate in my pursuit of killing McCorrigan. It's obvious that she is on to my mood change when she walks over to the cabinets where she keeps the dishes and pulls out some plates for breakfast. "I know... you are bad, not worthy of being happy, not capable of loving anyone or anything." Her eyes meet mine. "You can be that all you want, just keep being who you really are with me, just like yesterday. Like I said, I know you Lauren. I was you and it's okay to let someone in."

I look away from her, my hands trembling slightly and my heart racing as my nerves are on edge. Sometimes it's like she can read my mind and it's frightening. She can make me feel so vulnerable, yet so at home, its uncanny. "Can we just talk about something else?" I relax when she quietly nods and sets the table. There is silence, though surprisingly, it doesn't feel awkward, while I serve up the food and we both dig in taking quick glances at one another. I still have my walls up and she gives me a soft smile to say she is sorry for earlier.

"So Lauren, is it okay to ask where your from?"

A half smile forms on my lips at the notion that she feels she needs to ask me permission. I don't really want to talk about me at all, but I have to give her something. She is really easy to talk to though and I never feel judged for who I am. "Yes, it's fine. I grew up mostly in El Paso. What about you?"

Her eyes light up when she hears that I am from Texas. "Wow! We weren't too far apart. I am from Amarillo. Have you ever been there?"

I cringe at the memory, but I force it back down. "Yes. I was there for a short time as a young girl."

"Maybe we have seen one another at some point. Wouldn't that be funny?"

"Mmm...I don't think so. The people I was staying with didn't exactly allow me a normal childhood."

"Oh. I'm sorry" and I could tell she was. I have never spoken about my childhood in any capacity before, but for some reason it is just so easy to talk to Bo.

"How did you end up here?" I ask and observe as her usual twinkling eyes turn cold. I feel my insides shiver. It was a side I had never seen of her and I instantly regretted asking the question, "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that Bo." The words she spoke earlier finally register. She said she was once me and I wonder what that means, but I can't help but think it's related to her family. I would never push though. I believe some things are best left unsaid.

"Umm..no. It's alright. It's just a...it's been a long time since I talked about it to anyone. You could say my family and I had a falling out over a difference in moral values. When I was eighteen, I ran away and for a few years I just roamed the country working odd jobs until I found this quiet town in the middle of nowhere, met Kenzi and stayed. I bought the saloon with money I had saved up." She took another bite and smiled sadly. "You did great with this breakfast, Lauren. It's delicious."

I didn't say a word. I just returned the gesture and finished off my plate, realizing that both of us have had less than story book childhoods, yet here she is, the picture of a loving caring woman who is vibrant and full of life. It's amazing how things can change you for better or worse. When we are both done I watch as she takes up the plates and begins washing them. She moves with such grace and ease its as if she floats around the room and I am left to admire her from afar, much the way I had originally planned to do the night we first met. She smiles over her shoulder at me, surely feeling my eyes on her again, so I take my leave back to the bedroom for my boots. I haven't been outside in days and I really want to see Clover.

**XXX**

It's a beautiful late summer day in the mountains with the sun shining, a light cool breeze and it's clear enough to see the sharp contrast of color between the dark grey jagged mountain tops and the bright blue sky. The sun feels good on my skin after being cooped up for so many days. After a while you get used to being outside all the time and it's easy to go stir crazy. Not that having a soft, warm bed and a homecooked meal are bad, but there is an addiction to being out in nature. Clover is grazing way out in the pasteur with the other horses and cows. I have watched her with Bo the last few days and for a horse that doesn't like anyone else, she sure did warm up to Bo in a hurry. I guess no living creature is immune to the woman's charm. I whistle loudly and I see her ears perk up as she looks my way. She throws her head up and winnies before galloping back to me.

"Hey girl. You look happy out there," I say as I stroke her nose and kiss her muzzle. "I'm almost worried that you don't miss me." Clover nudges me with her nose and searches my hands for goodies. I chuckle at her, "What? Seeing me isn't present enough for you?"

I hear a soft laugh behind me and I turn to see Bo approaching with a few carrots in her hand. She is a vision in loveliness with her hair pulled back, tight jeans, boots and a light colored shirt. She let's her hand slide down my back and I can't hold back my smile. It seems like all I do when I am in her presence is smile like an idiot, but her touch makes me feel lighter somehow and I just can't help myself. She holds up the carrots and Clover works her lips in an attempt to grab one. Bo hands one to me so that I can feed her first.

"I think she missed you," Bo says as she pets my horse's neck.

"I don't know, she sure cozied right up to you. She doesn't like anyone, what did you bribe her with" I say with a glint of humor in my eyes.

"I didn't have to. I think she knows that I care about you," Bo replies, her gaze meeting mine and I can feel the intensity in her voice.

I look away and clear my throat nervously, "Bo, I..."

She doesn't let me finish. "Lauren, you don't have to say anything. I know what it is that you can't bring yourself to say, and that's okay."

"No Bo, it's not. You deserve more. Someone that will stay and be here with you, not run around the country on some personal mission. I don't want to make a promise I know I won't keep" I say, still averting my gaze as I focus on petting Clover.

"I'm a big girl, Lauren. I know what I need and what I will accept in my life. I don't know what it is you do, or where you are headed, but all I need is that one person who I know is looking up at that same sun and thinking of me the way I think of her. The universe will take care of the rest. By the way, there is a big difference between won't and can't. Which one is it really for you Lauren?"

She won't let me out of this one, keeping her gaze locked on me as I search my self for the answer. Won't or can't? I know I can't stay here with her, at least not until I finish what I have sworn to myself to do, but would I stay after that? There are so many things about Bo...it's almost as if she is inevitable to me...but then there is me and my inability to let someone in. With complete honesty I answer, "I don't know."

I see her break a little at my reply. I know what she meant when she asked. She wants to know if I will come back here for good when I find what I am searching for, but I can't answer that right now and I feel badly about that. "Maybe it's best if I leave, Bo. I don't want to complicate things for you or us."

She shakes her head and takes my hand, "No way. I said you can stay and I meant it. I want you here as long as I can have you and after that...well, I will deal with it. I almost lost hope that you were going to come back here at all." Her eyes are glassy and I am beginning to realize that she cares more than I once believed. My question of her feelings for me now answered.

**XXX**

For the first time in a long time I can actually say that I enjoyed my day. I help Bo in the garden and out in the barn as much as I can. We partake in idle chatter about the town and things in the news. She refuses to let me help with dinner, saying that I had already overdone it today and will pay for it tomorrow. She's probably right. She makes a delicious roast chicken and fresh from the garden mashed potatoes and carrots. It's sad to admit that during the day I would catch her stealing glances at me, but I tried not to let her know that I noticed. Truth is I was doing the same thing and I rather like the feeling it gave me.

I can't deny that there is something about Bo, that we have some deeper connection even if I am resisting the urge to explore it. I can tell she has deep feelings for me. I can see it when she looks at me, the way she smiles and how she touches me, even casually. It feels good and I'd love nothing more than to explore it with her, but I know what will happen. She says she is happy to have me as long as she can, and I feel the same, but it's not really fair to do that to her. Is it really fair to either of us to start something more when I am going to leave and who knows how my story ends? I think I am doing us both a favor by not complicating our relationship. I appreciate what she is doing for me and I know we had an amazing afternoon in one another's arms the other day, but that's all I have ever done. All I know is a few hours of sharing my body and what little emotion I have to offer and then maybe we meet again someday.

Now, as we sit here on the porch swing staring at the night sky, she takes my hand in hers and it feels so warm. I don't look at her or our hands, but I enjoy it for as long as I can without letting her know what it means to me to have her companionship. This many days with someone, especially with Bo, I am coming to the conclusion that I miss it more than I ever imagined. Maybe I am not meant to be a loner forever. I could have a little farm like this, I have enough money to buy one, but I shouldn't start dreaming yet. No, I have to keep my eye on the prize and live to enjoy the old man's judgment day.

An hour later I let her know that I am going to turn in since my body begins to feel the workout I gave it today. I give her hand a squeeze, thank her for the day and head to my room. Now I lay here with my eyes closed, but I can't sleep. Too many things running through my head and too many emotions in my heart. It's such a tedious practice resisting temptation when she is around. Even more so when I know she wants me to touch her. I am dragged from my thoughts when I hear soft footsteps at my door and it slowly opens. I can tell it's her, but I just lie still and I feel the bed move as she climbs in next to me. "Bo," I whisper. I hear her whisper back, "Yes?" She snuggles in beside me and starts to kiss up my neck. Her lips are electrifying, each one sending a jolt right through me causing my eyes to roll back and I inhale sharply. I try hard to suppress the moan that wants to escape and instead I choke out, "What are you doing?" I can feel my body tremble as her hand slips under my shirt and glides across my stomach. She kisses me a few more times, ending next to my ear, her warm breath tickling my next as she breathes out, "Complicating things."

Her hand begins to massage my breast and this time I am too weak to resist as I arch into her touch and allow the moan the freedom it so desires. I can feel how wet I am getting for her already as my need to touch her overcomes my need to protect her from the certain heartbreak I will cause her. I reach my hand down and lift her chin up so that our lips meet in a soft kiss. I suck on her bottom lip gently and immediately deepen the kiss causing her to whimper and roll to straddle me. I pull back and look at her silhouette above me and I hear her say, "I know you want this Lauren. You body is screaming for me, so why deny this? Why deny us?"

Her hips are rocking against mine and I slide my leg up between her thighs for her hot center to grind. I have no answer for her. First, because as usual, I can't form words when she is touching me like this. Second, because I have no legitimate reason beyond my own emotional incompetence. Third...I know there was a third... dammit, she wins this round. Suddenly feeling not pain, I roll her over and look down at her. "This doesn't change anything, Bo. I can't make you any promises." She cups my face in both hands, "I am not asking you for promises. I am only asking that while you are here, you give me all of you." She kisses my lips tenderly and I feel a few tears fall from my eyes. It shouldn't be this hard, should it? I should just spill everything and let go of my burden, stay here for the rest of my life with the beautiful brunette that sees me for what I could be...but I can't or won't... I don't know. I feel her thumb brush across my cheek, "I will try Bo, but there are things...things I can't talk about...I have never talked about...I"

She shushes me with another tender kiss but this one more needy. "I understand," she whispers between kisses, "Let's just start with tonight." I say nothing else and nod my head then I lunge forward in a searing kiss, my tongue desperately seeking hers as I push her dress up and run my hands along her outer thighs. Then teasing the area around her hot center, she writhes underneath me in hopes of leading me to where she wants to be touched and I smirk, enjoying the game. "Lauren please," she begs and it's hard to say no when she says my name so full of desire. I let my hands slide up to knead her breasts as I kiss my way down between her legs and when I slide my tongue up her wet hot folds, I am met with an audible approval. "God yes," she moans loudly, rocking her hips into my face. That's it, I am done for. I dive in with all that I have, bringing her close and then pulling back several times until she curses me for denying her release, but we both know it will be worth it, and when I finally suck on her and thrust three fingers inside in rhythm with my tongue, I quickly bring her to an intense, screaming orgasm. With her body shuddering, I let her down slowly before pulling out and sucking my fingers clean, the taste of her like none other and I want to enjoy every bit of it. I kiss her deeply as she tries to catch her breath and I collapse beside her, both of us a sweaty, panting mess. It was amazing. She is amazing. She makes me feel amazing. This doesn't change anything. Just keep telling myself that.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I lurve that so many are saying they never thought of reading a western, but now they are enjoying my story. I can't thank you all enough for the support in read/review/twitter! Of course there will be more hints dropped about Lauren and Bo's past, see if you can figure out how they intertwine.**_

_****In response to some concerns, no animals have been nor will be harmed during the course of this story, so relax and read on :) **_

**Chapter 6**

Waking up with Bo in my arms is something I could force myself to get used to. There truly is no more magnificent of a sight to see when I open my eyes in the morning. Who am I kidding? I am already used to it and can't see how it would ever get old. I am aware that I will have to leave soon. As much as Bo has begun to awaken a part of me I didn't know I still had, I am feeling the burning need to finish what I started deep down in my gut. She says that I am stubborn, but this bull headed brunette is intent on breaking down my walls and turning me into a homeody. Looking at her beside me, I could almost let her do it...almost. I smile at her as I roll to wrap my body around hers. Even in sleep her body responds to mine as she unconsciously pushes back into me.

A sliver of sunrise is peaking through the window so I know there is a little more time to rest and enjoy the feel of Bo's warm body against mine. Falling back into a light slumber, I dream of the day I first learned to shoot. About a month after settling into my new home, Henry, the old man who took me in off the street, and I rode horses out to the valley where he handed me a pistol. It was the first time I had ever held one. My father was a peaceful man who didn't believe in guns or taking a life, so there was never one around the house, but Henry believed a lady should know how to protect herself. I could tell that even though I never revealed what I had been through, he sensed that giving me some idea of control in my life would be helpful. These are crazy times afterall, where innocent people are killed every day and women are sometimes treated as possessions.

The metal felt so good in my hand that I smiled instantly. It fit perfectly, as if it were an extension of me and I was in awe of the power within the object. He showed me everything about it, how to clean it, to respect what it could do, what each piece was and why it was important to keep it in perfect working order. If your life is going to depend on it, then you can't afford a misfire. After the first few apprehensive shots, Henry laughed and called me a natural when I started hitting consistently near the bullseye. I can still remember exactly how I felt knowing that I finally had a way to take care of myself. It meant the world to me after the last few years of watching my parents being killed and being slave labor. It changed my life, I vowed to never be weak again. There were tears in my eyes when I hugged him and from the way he embraced me in return, I could tell he knew just what I was thinking.

In my dream I flash forward six more months where I am out in the field practicing my quick draw. It didn't take me long to become a very skillfull shooter so now I wanted to be fast. Faster than anyone. Not only did I want to be faster but I wanted to be able to hit my target with extreme precision when I did draw. I remember practicing daily, for hours on end, beginning a few weeks after my my first shooting lesson. For my safety, he never let me have bullets in it until I could learn to do it without accidentally firing. So much like my father, I was, and still am, very much the scientist. Always looking for patterns, nuances, little things that can make a big difference. I would study everything about whatever it was I was interested in. In the back of my mind I knew what I wanted to do. I was beginning to form my plan of revenge. It had taken a hold of my subconscious and now ruled my conscious thought. I see the face of Fitzpatrick McCorrigan with every draw and try to imagine how it will feel to bring forth justice on him.

I am half asleep and half awake, yet dead to the world. That time when your body feels heavy and restful but your mind can register things around you. I hear a creak and feel the bed move. Not used to waking up with someone next to me, I jump up startled but ready for a fight, grabbing Bo tightly with one arm and my other hand drawn back in a fist. I only realize that it is her when I hear her yelp, the sound bringing me back to reality. Her brown eyes are wide and fearful and I quickly release her from my grip.

"I'm...I'm sorry Bo. I was having a dream and you startled me. Are you okay?" God, my heart just sunk at the fear I saw in her eyes, reinforcing to me why I should leave sooner rather than later. I know I have issues to work through, but sometimes my dreams trigger something in me.

As if she knows exactly what I am thinking when I swing my legs over the edge of the bed away from her, she soothingly let's me know that she is fine. "You just caught me by surprise is all. I should have known better than sneak back in here. It must be odd for you to have someone walk in on you in the morning."

I maintain my position off the side of the bed facing away from her. "A little. I would never intentionally hurt you Bo, it's just that sometimes," I sigh and run my palms over my face trying to wipe the sleep away, "sometimes my dreams are emotionally intense."

I feel the bed move behind me and then her comforting arms snake around my waist. Bo straddles me from behind and leans her head against my back. Immediately the tension leaves my body and is replaced by warmth. It truly is unbelievable, the effect she has on every part of me physically and emotionally. I have never experienced a feeling like this with anyone, so I don't really know the right word for it, but the more time I spend with her, the more I feel like I could lose myself in her.

"I know you wouldn't, Lauren. I trust you completely," her voice vibrates through my rib cage which I find oddly comforting. The way she is wrapped around me right now makes me feel like I am in a cocoon protected from myself and I never want to come out. I let my hands come up to cover hers, holding them tight to me.

"If there is anything you want to talk about, I am happy to lend an ear," she says softly. I can tell by her tone that she knows I won't. I squeeze her hands tighter and shake my head, looking down at our hands, "No, not right now, but can we just stay here for a few more minutes?"

I can't believe how vulnerable she makes me. This is not something I would normally do, not part of my detached, calculating persona that I have worked so hard to fortify in my desire to live life without emotional connection. Bo sees past all that. She can see deeper within me than I can see myself. She doesn't make me feel weak by letting her be strong for me. Not that she is in any way a mother figure to me, but I am starting to think that there is a part deep down that really misses having someone to offer that strong, silent security that I have long since shutout of my life.

"Of course. We can stay here as long as you like." We stayed just like that with no words exchanged for the next twenty minutes, just the feeling of us breathing in and out as one, wrapped in her strong embrace.

**XXX**

Once we unravel ourselves, I refocus on what I had planned to do today before the emotional ride that was our morning. Life sure was easier when I didn't let that part of myself see the light of day. It's been several days since I have been in the saddle or handled my weapons, something I have done on a daily basis for years now. I feel a little lost without them, besides, you have to build up a stamina to ride on those long trips. There is no way I am going to let myself slip now.

Her eyes are on my every move as I gather my things and dress, so I offer her a soft smile, thankful for her understanding this morning. Now, I have to get out today and do what I know how to do best. "You can quit staring," I chuckle, "I'm not running away...yet." That eases her immediate concern and I can tell she is wondering just what I have on my mind as I get dressed. Her wheels are turning, it's evident in the expression on her face and I wish I could read her the way she can read me. "What," I ask.

"Nothing. I umm...really should go to town and check on things and Kenzi today," she pauses stuck in thought, keeping her focus on me.

I can see that there is something else on her mind because she is chewing on her lip again. Suddenly a thought strikes me, "And you worried that I will be gone when you come back?"

That was definitely it because she blushes and quickly shies away from me. Maybe I am better at reading her than I think. I think she is embarrassed, thinking I will feel she is clingy, but quite the opposite really. I 'm still amazed that anyone would want to keep me around, but if it's anyone, I am glad it's her. Slipping my arms into my shirt, I walk back to her sitting on the bed while I button it up. She gently removes my hands and with a smile takes over for me. I think she did it to ignore my gaze, but it's sweet none the less. "Bo, I don't usually make promises, but I will make you one," I tilt her chin up toward my face holding her eyes with my own, "I promise you that I will not leave without letting you know first. Alright?"

The concern in her eyes eases and is replaced with that sparkle I love so much. She finishes the buttons and stands up, face to face she cups my cheeks with her hands and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. "Alright. Thank you. Now what are you planning, my beautiful cowgirl?"

Ah, and we are back to flirty Bo, much better. I hate to see her worry, especially if it has anything to do with me. I never want to be the one that causes her pain, even if that is an inevitable fact of us being together.

"Well, my beautiful saloon keeper, I am itching to get back into the saddle and my trigger finger is getting twitchy so I am going to take Clover for a ride and have a little target practice. You are welcome to come along. We can ride into town after. This way you can keep an eye on me," I wink, grabbing my hat and holster.

"I think I'd like that," she says with excitement. "I want to see if those hands of yours are as good with those guns as they are with other things," she smirks and it's my turn to blush beet red.

Clearing my throat and my head of the picture of said things I have done with my hands the last few days, I nod and head out, unable to look her in the eye without the blush returning. "I'll a ...just be at the barn."

I can hear her laughing at me as I walk out. The crisp mountain air is exhilarating and it is a picture perfect day for a ride. I grab a few things that I can use as targets, pack up my rifle and extra bullets and whistle for Clover. By the time I have her saddled, Bo is on her way out of the house dressed to ride. I have never seen her in a cowboy hat before, and not that she could look bad in anything, but the black hat with her light skin and dark features gives her a dangerous, yet sexy look. I bite my lip and enjoy the view as she approaches and I would almost swear she's put a little extra sway in those hips of hers because I am sure I caught a glimpse of a smirk on her lips. She definitely knows how to flaunt what she has.

"Killing me," I whisper under my breath and turn my attention back to Clover. "You like her don't you?" The horse looks at me throws her head up. At times I am sure she understands what I say. When Bo reaches us, she greets Clover, who acts like a love sick puppy around the woman and I roll my eyes. "Since Clover here seems to have taken a liking to you, has she shared her talents with you yet," I ask Bo.

The brunette quirks a brow, glancing between me and Clover. "No, what talents?"

"Well I am glad you asked," I smile wide unable to hide my enthusiasm of showing off the parlor tricks I taught her. I turn to my old friend and look in her eyes, "You've been sucking up to Bo all week and you haven't pulled out your best stuff yet? That's a surprise." Bo is enjoying my little banter with my friend, but when I ask Clover to shake with her new friend Bo, the brunette raises her brows in question. I nod down to Clover's hoof which is raised high for Bo to take. "Wow, Thank you Clover," Bo smiles and takes the hoof. Clover puts her hoof back down. Then I motion with my hand and she bows down before Bo.

"Geeze Lauren, do you ride side saddle and do tricks too," she laughs and I suddenly feel a little awkward for some reason, surprised at my behavior. Maybe because I let myself open up for a moment, offering her a glimpse of what I could be if I let the bad parts go.

"You are just full of surprises. Tough as nails Lauren Lewis teaches her horse circus tricks. How delightfully unexpected," she runs her hands down both of my arms with a toothy grin.

"Yeah well, we have a close relationship and I gotta do something to pass the time out on the trail."

"I guess so. Thank you for sharing that with me Clover," she addresses my girl directly and the horse whinnies at her. Oh yes, my horse is equally as taken as I am with the charming brunette. The two of us sit patiently, unsure if this is really a good idea, we watch Bo saddle up one of the horses nearby so we can hit the trail.

**XXX**

Finally back in my element, there is a sense of normalcy for me now. This is where I am comfortable. I have to admit that I am little nervous to have Bo see me shoot, somehow believing she will think less of me realizing that I have used them before. I am sure she knows I have shot people, especially since I have my own bullet wound, but to have an idea of something and then see it first hand often changes your feeling about it and I am hoping it's not for the worst. She has never mentioned knowing about my being the mysterious "Doctor," but I would have to believe the sheriff would have clued her in at some point.

It is a peaceful ride with comfortable silence and random chatter. She looks so natural up on a horse. Well, she probably can fit in just about anywhere, but there is an air about her out here right now, one that beckons back to whatever history she keeps hinting at. It has always been obvious to me that Bo is not just some small town farm girl who owns a saloon. No, there is something deeper, more powerful and dare I say dangerous, that she keeps hidden behind those warm eyes. Something that gives her the ability to recognize and understand my pain and make me believe that I am not alone.

"Lauren, do you have any brother's or sisters?" There is hesitance in her voice, afraid to cause me to withdraw into my shell, but she desperately wants to know more about me. Funny thing is, I don't have to know more about Bo. I know all I need to know about the woman riding next to me. Who or what she was before doesn't matter to me, only right now is important. Whatever she keeps hidden, she has successfully pushed down and is now one of the most compassionate people I have met in a long time.

My pause is making things awkward, so in the spirit of sharing, I choke down my desire to hide and answer the question. I even go so far as to attempt a conversation by returning a question. That's what I'm supposed to do I guess. "None. You?"

The one thing about Tamsin is she never asked me about much, but then she had similar emotional issue as me, and two people with walls up do not a deep conversation make. The one thing we had in common was our goal to bring justice to those who deserve it.

"My sister died when I was eighteen and I have a younger brother, but as I said before, I split from my family years ago."

There may have been a hint of regret in her voice, but mostly it sounds as if she is quite pleased with her decision. Not one to dig, but given my story I do have to wonder, "Do you miss them?" She is silent and I begin to hope I didn't stir up something I shouldn't have. I am relieved as soon as she begins to answer me.

"I miss the idea of a family, but no, I do not miss them. It was not a healthy environment. I am a better person now."

I don't say anything, hoping she wouldn't ask me another question, but that's what I get for wondering. Curiosity and all that.

"Would you be willing to tell me how your parents died?"

"They were murdered," I blurt it out harsh and fast and I hear her gasp.

"I'm so sorry Lauren. I shouldn't have pried. It's none of my business."

"Well, now you know why I don't talk much about the past." I didn't mean to be so short with her, but I still fill with rage at the mention of it.

"I really am sorry. I hope you're not mad." She is panicking, feeling the sting of my words.

"No Bo, I'm not mad at you, but I am still angry as hell at the people who saw fit to needlessly kill two people who only ever tried to do good."

"I understand. That explains a lot. I won't push you anymore. Just...I can tell you have a million stories and I'd love to hear them," she looks at me with apologetic eyes and I know she means it in the best possible way.

"Maybe one day, but I am not ready. I'm sorry." I keep my tone even and breathe deeply to relax the painful memories in my mind.

"Don't be. I know how hard it is for you to open up. Thank you for sharing that with me as painful as it was."

We continue on for a spell in silence until I spot a nice area that is perfect for target practice on the backside of the hills. "Here looks like a good place." I slide out of the saddle with a little stiffness after an hour ride, but not too bad. I can tell that my body is still healing as I don't have my usual strength, but I am much better than I was a few days ago.

**XXX**

"Are you any good with a gun" I ask her, certain that she's used one before, but not quite able to tell if it's something she feels comfortable with.

Bo shrugs at me as I pull out the items I brought as targets. "I can use one. I'm better with a rifle, but honestly," she pulls a knife from her boot, "these are more my thing."

To say I am surprised would be an understatement. For someone who is always looking at all of the angles, Bo sure threw me for a loop there. I quirk my brow and can't resist the half smile that creeps up. "Really? Knives are a bit of a lost art, but they deadly in the right hands."

Bo smirks at me and rolls the small pumpkin from the garden that I brought as a target out about fifteen feet. "Oh, they're in the right hands," she says, turning quickly and sticking it right in the center. She turns back to me with a proud grin.

Okay, that is pretty damn sexy. I didn't think it was possible for Bo to be any more exciting and that certainly answers the 'dangerous' vibe I thought about earlier. I know she has a past, but now I can't help wondering how knives fall into that. "That is damn impressive Bo. How did you learn that?"

"Eh, my father was not a good man and he always used guns to show his power. I learned how to shoot, but I didn't want to be like him, so I took up knives." Something inside her flips, the normally bright brown eyes succumb to a darkness I had not seen before when she continues, "Besides, if you really want to intimidate or kill someone, isn't it best to do it up close and personal?"

I am shocked to say the least and the look in her eye nearly made me shiver. I could see the pain in her expression when she speaks of her dad, but something in the cold tone of her voice when she spoke of killing up close tells me it is definitely an experience she has had. The thought both chills me to the bone and intrigues me. I feel sadness that someone as genuine and caring as Bo has had that experience. It also makes sense now, when she said she was like me, she meant it on a very intimate level. Not many people are comfortable looking someone in the eye while they kill them. I believe it means that a part of you is dead inside and seeing her so full of life give me a little hope for myself.

"I feel the same way, but you can be up close with a gun." I walk away from her, pulling out her knife on the way by as I set a few items up on the rocks and step back about fifteen or twenty feet. I hand her knife over to her and pull out one of my side arms, checking it over and feeling the balance. Since it had been a few days, I wanted to reacquaint myself with this very important part of me. I holster it and pull out the other one, doing the same thing. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her watching me intently. Squaring up to the targets, I tell her, "Say when."

She laughs, "Really Lauren?"

I look at her and reinforce my request. "Really. You give me the go." She nods with a smile. I can tell she is intrigued and I hope I am not too rusty.

A few moments pass and then she shouts, "GO!"

She hardly gets the word out before I have drawn the right pistol and put three holes in the two large pumpkins. Quickly, I holster the right while drawing the left and proceed to blast three bottles in a row. I put that one back into my holster and let out a breath in relief. That could have been embarrassing had I not done well.

"Holy shit Lauren! I had no idea! How did you learn to do that?" Her shocked expression is what I was going for, so I give myself a pat on the back for knocking her socks off.

Once again I put myself in a spot, not thinking about having to explain myself, but Bo revealed a dark piece of her past, so surely I could as well. "Um...A nice family took me in and he showed me how to use a gun. I studied and practiced for hours a day to perfect the draw and angle, improve my speed and accuracy. I wanted to be the fastest and the deadliest, so that I would never be weak again."

The mood becomes heavy as we both had opened a piece of our not so pleasant past up to the other. Bo does her best to lighten it for us. "I knew you were good with both hands but...wow!"

I laugh and can't help my blush at her dual meaning. "How do you do that, Bo"

'What?"

"Make everything you say have a whole other meaning behind it?"

"I think it's just because you are thinking the same things I am when I say it," she strolls up to me, smiling seductively. She gets close enough for me to feel her breath on my face as she runs her fingers over the collar on my shirt, "Know what else I think, Lauren?"

All I can do is whisper one word when she is this close, my mind stuck on wanting to take her right out in the open, "What?"

She husks lowly, "I think we are two very good looking, very dangerous people who are very good together."

Bo brushes her lips against mine. My eyes close at the light, enticing touch and then she pulls back slightly. I was expecting her to kiss me so I open my eyes and see her delicious, pouty lips mere millimeters away from mine waiting for me to close the gap and taste them. So that's what I do, gently at first, but the passion between us flares so easily as our kisses turn needy. Our moans and whimpers are smothered by one another's mouths as we are both desperate for more. I drop my holster and lay her down in the grass. This morning I could never imagine wanting her more than I did, but this new side of Bo has brought out a whole other level of desire for this beautiful, amazing, mysteriously deadly woman and it's a exciting as hell.


	7. Chapter 7

_**I love hearing what you guys think is going to happen. I am working on my ending with a few different options on the table, but I am hoping you will all enjoy the path and the twist. Plus, Tamsin will be back soon and will Dyson play into anything affecting Lauren and Bo? We will just have to find out. As always, you guys are fantabulous and thanks for sharing your love in reviews/follows/favs/ and on twitter! I lurve you all!**_

**Chapter 7**

A few hours later, Bo and I finally make it to her saloon to check up on things. I take my seat near the end of the bar and smile when Bo hops over the top to pour me a beer. She leans forward giving me a good look at her cleavage and serves it up with a wink, "I'm gonna go talk to Kenzi."

"I think she's already found you," I say and nod behind Bo to the dark haired girl quickly making a beeline towards us.

Before Bo even has a chance to turn around, Kenzi has her wraped up into a big hug. "I have missed you my little BoBo!" She hangs on for a few seconds, drawing a big grin from the brunette.

"I missed you too, Kenzi. You can let go now," Bo chuckles. It is a wonderful relationship the two women have and I feel a little envious that they have someone close to confide in.

When the girl pulls back she starts picking things off of her dress, then off of Bo, "What the hell? Why is there grass in your hair...and all over your back?"

I quickly turn to my beer and attempt to hide my blush under my hat. The harder I try to hide, the more I blush and I can't hide my smirk at the memory of the two of us making love in the vallley, or the way Bo looks on her horse as we canter back toward town.

Glancing up from under the brim of my hat, I catch intense blue eyes staring at me and then over at Bo. Suddenly the light goes on in her head. She places her hands on her hips and quirks a knowing brow at Bo. "Oh, I see. You have been outside wrangling your little cowgirl over there. Is that what you two have been doing all this time," she asks, glancing between the two of us again, like a mother catching her children in a fib.

I decide that my beer is in need of my full attention. Apparently my feelings for Bo make me an easy read. Never having been in this situation before, I had no idea that I could feel this embarassed. Oddly, as mortifying as it is to be under the inspection of Bo's best friend, it is equally exhilarating having been with Bo in the intimate matter that we have and I really hope that I will get the opportunity to do it again soon. Being in her arms is the only time I truly feel at peace and each time I experience it, I find that I want it more and more. As much as I try and fight to keep her out, Bo keeps breaking down my walls and getting me to expose more of myself to her. I am beginning to think that I may be in big trouble.

I peek up at the pair from under my hat again, never able to keep my eyes off of the beautiful brunette for long, and Bo catches me with her twinkling brown eyes while talking to Kenzi. She lets a sly half grin creep up her lips and Kenzi freezes, quickly shooting a look at and then back to her friend again. "Okay, you two, enough of eye sex. I am standing right here."

"What? No! God Kenz," Bo huffs, pretending to be apalled but doing a horrible job at it as I can tell she loves it. I clear my throat which has seemingly constricted amid all of the rather intimate conversation that involves my extracurricullar activities. "Can we not talk about it," Bo pleads on my behalf, sensing my discomfort.

"Sure. We can not talk about it," Kenzi says as she walks out past me. I could see her reflection in the glass motioning to Bo that they will so be talking about it later. Bo shakes her head, "Sorry Lauren. You can't keep a secret from her."

I offer her an appreciative smile for ending the onversation, at least in front of me. "Does she know about the knives," I can't help but ask.

Bo leans both elbows on the bar. "It was how we met, so yes, she knows, but don't worry I won't tell her about you."

"Won't tell who, what?" A deep voice asks as Dyson suddenly appears from out of nowhere.

I stiffen at the sound of his voice. I was so caught up in Bo that I never felt him coming. I really need to get my shit together or Bo will be the death of me. When I am around her she commands the focus of all of my senses and clear thought just goes out the window.

Bo smirks at me before turning her attention to him and grabbing a towel to wipe down the bar. "Hello Dyson. Oh, umm, tell Kenzi how good Lauren is with her hands," she says slyly and walks to the far end of the bar leaving the two of us alone.

Thanks alot Bo. Mental note to make her pay later in the most pleasurable way possible. I clear my throat uncomfortably, noticing that Dyson is also not happy with the situation.

He doesn't look at me, just motions for a beer. "Lauren, I see you are feeling better."

"Yes, thanks to Bo's hospitality," I respond cooly keeping my focus straight ahead.

"She's not like anyone I've ever met before," he says, making me want to squirm at his tone.

I can tell he has feelings for her and a big distaste for me, but I won't let him see any signs of weakness. After all, I got the girl. "Mmm," I hum and sip my beer, trying not to get into a conversation with the man. I am still as suspicious of him as he is of me and while I don't think him a bad person, I do believe that his feelings for Bo may cloud his judgment.

Dyson takes a big gulp of his beer and the two of us have yet to look at one another. "Some people try to take advantage of her generous nature. I won't stand for that."

Ah, there it is. The air between us just got colder as I knew sooner or later he would get to his point. "Well, I can tell you that won't be a problem."

"We'll see. I don't want her to get hurt." His tone is growing more insistent since I am not backing down, as if I would leave her to satisfy him.

I brace my hands on the ede of the bar, my patience growing thin. In the corner of my eye I see Bo look toward us with concern while stocking her bar. I respond with absolute certainty, "I would never hurt her."

"Hmph, you may not, but I've known people like you, Lauren," he turns to look me in the eye and I meet his gaze with a steeled jaw. "You attract trouble. I just don't want either of these fine ladies to get caught up in your mess."

I can see his point, but I would never let anything happen to Bo. "Noted. Anything else I can do for you Sheriff?"

"Nope, that's it Doc," he smirks watching for my response.

I flinch at the name. _"Dammit!" _I think to myself, not expecting that. I really need to get my guard back up. His look of satisfaction makes me sick. He tips his hat to me and I narrow my eyes in return as he takes his leave.

Seeing Dyson leave, Bo hurries back over and catches me in a rare moment of trying to control my inner rage at the man's insistence that I leave her. I admit that I will probably end up hurting her emotionally...I have been telling her this the whole time, but I would give my life to protect her physically. I can tell there is something more personal in his request. It is about him, not Bo. "Is everything alright Lauren? You look a little tense? What did he say?"

I swallow hard and calm myself with a deep breath, "Nothing, Bo it's fine. Everything's peachy."

The look in her eyes when I swing back around with my forced smile tells me that she knows I am lying and I feel the need to come clean. "He is not a big fan of me with you is all."

She searches my expression until she is satisfied that I have told her everything and she sighs. "I am sorry. He is always like that no matter how much I ask him to stop, but the only opinion that matters here is mine, and I am your biggest fan," she smiles brightly, instantly taking away all the rage that was building inside of me.

Never have I met anyone able to soothe my beast the way she does. She places her hand on my arm and I turn to putty in my seat. "Just give me ten more minutes and we can head home."

What else can I do but nod, finish off my beer and be the lucky lady that gets to escort the lovely Bo Dennis back to her place? The thought brings a sadistic grin to my face as I am sure it is something that will eat away at the sheriff all night long.

**XXX**

The horses are put up, dinner is over and now we are sitting on a bench in front of the fire pit enjoying the cool night air and watching the stars come up. This truly is a relaxing feeling, to have a place you can call home, kick back and look over your fields, comforted by one who cares for you. I feel Bo snuggle into my side and she looks down at my hand on my own lap. I watch as she places her hand over mine, warming it instantly and causing me to sigh. Her silhouette against the shimmer of the fire is something to behold and I find myself stealing glances at her.

"Lauren, do you remember the first time we met" she asks, staring at the fire and rubbing her thumb over the top of my hand.

The memory instantly makes me smile uncontrollably and I notice that Bo is now looking up at me curiously.

"Mmm hmm," I nod and look down into her soft, brown eyes. "Perfectly," I answer with a smile and brush some stray hairs from her eyes.

Bo stares back out into the darkness, the smile in her voice is obvious. "You were sitting there alone for over an hour, just nursing your beers and hiding under that hat of yours. You were so striking in that tan cowboy hat, long blonde hair, crisp white shirt and tan leather vest. I got a little nervous when you left, thinking I should have gone over to talk to you and now I had missed my chance, but after a few minutes you returned. You stood out from the crowd like a sore thumb and as Kenzi put it, "You really know how to wear a pair of pants," she chuckles.

I furrow my brows at her last comment. "Relax," she says, "Kenzi isn't into women, but she's right, you do fill out a pair of jeans nicely. She pats my leg and continues, "Anyway, when you came back, I watched you from the corner for a few minutes and decided it was now or never. I had to find out more about the myserious blonde stranger. The moment you looked at me I felt something I never had before...it was scary, but at the same time it felt like I found a missing piece of me. The next morning when I woke up and you were gone, it hurt a little bit, but I figured it was the best one night stand of my life. I am glad I had the courage to talk to you or we would never have met."

Hearing her version of our first meeting makes me laugh a little knowing that in reality, I was the one trying to lure her in. I am just happy that I played it right. "I remember it a little differently," I laugh and she gives me a perplexed look. "See, when I rode into town, I stopped at the general store to rent a stall for my horse. On my way in I caught a glimpse of this breath taking brunette and I felt an undeniable pull to follow her, so I did." Her eyes are glued to mine as she takes in every new detail I am offering. "You were stunning in that red and white patterned dress with red boots and your long hair falling down over your shoulders. You had a bright smile for everyone you passed. I had never seen anyone like you, oh and that dimple...that dimple is forever burned in my brain. Anyway, I stood against the wall with my head down until you went into the saloon and by the way you made your rounds, I could tell you worked there. I took a chance that you'd be there a while as I went and put up Clover. I came back and settled in, hoping that you were into the tall, quiet, blonde type. I knew it was working when I finally excused myself and I caught your look of despair out of the corner of my eye. I waited long enough for you to wory you missed out, but not enough to lose your attention, and to my delight it worked." I give her hand a little squeeze and a bright smile.

"You sly devil you,' she slaps me on the arm and grins, "Then why did you run out afterwards?"

I am embarrassed by my behavior that day, but I really didn't know what to do. I didn't even understand the feelings I was having, but I knew I had to catch Bill Martin, so that's what I did. I shake my head, still not completely understanding my feelings even today. "I never had any kind of feelings for someone I slept with and it took me by surprise. I didnt know what to do with it and I was also headed somewhere. I was leaving the next day anyway. I figured it would be much easier if I didn't have to say goodbye to you. I just didn't know that I would never really be able to say goodbye to you, Bo. You lived in my heart and mind each day since. That's why I came back. I'm sorry I did that to you."

Bo sits upright and I immediately miss her contact. She doesn't seem to be mad, more like trying to understand what I was behind my decision to leave her so quickly."Well then, why didn't you come back sooner?"

A very valid question to someone who has any idea what it means to care for another person, which is not anything that would describe me."Again, I'm not used to having an emotional connection to someone and I was in the middle of some personal things. I guess I kind of thought it would fade after a while, but it never did. I'm sorry it took me six months to get back to you. I didn't know you were hoping to see me again."

"Yeah, but you ran off again the next morning. I never thought I'd see you again after the first one, but when you came back, I was hopeful thinking surely you felt the same and I was more than upset to find you gone again. Every day since then I waited and hoped, each new face that came in, I prayed it would be yours. I almost gave up. Kenzi told me to move on and then nearly a year later there you were and my heart stopped." The pain is evident in her eyes and body language and it makes my chest hurt to be the cause. I don't want to think of how much worse it will be the next time I leave.

"I'm sorry Bo. I didn't know. I never meant to do that to you. I had no idea you felt that way," I try to explain and console her.

"I don't know how you couldn't tell that I was head over heels for you," a pained smile curls the edges of her lips, the hurt I caused her that day resurfacing, "but had you stayed that morning you would have known. I swore if I was lucky enough to see you again I wouldn't let you go without telling you."

"I care for you Bo, like no one else, but you know I have to leave again soon, right?" There is no way I can make her understand me. Hell, I don't understand why I keep running from this amazing woman. Why can't I just abandon this whole mission I have created and be happy here with her? That alone tells me I'm not of sound mind. No one in their right mind would make that decision.

"I do, but I wish I could get you to stay. I don't know what you do when your gone, but I know its not healthy. I hear stories, but I ignore them, believing that you'll tell me when your ready."

"Bo, its complicated, but its something that I have to do. I did promise you that I wouldn't leave without telling you and I meant it."

"Does this have anything to do with your parents?"

I don't answer and I know it gives me away. "Lauren do you think they would want you to spend your life taking vengeance? Worse yet, for you to die doing so?"

I won't look at her. It doesn't matter anymore what they would want. I am way beyond anything they would have wanted for me, anyway. There is only what I have become and what I feel I must do.

"Bo, I know you think you know me, but do you really? Do you know the things I have done? Do you know that I have a reputation? Have you ever heard of the doctor?" I didn't want to tell her, but better she hear it from me than some convoluted version from someone like the sheriff, who I am sure has it out for me.

She nods that she has indeed heard the stories. "You are the doctor," she states quietly, as if she suspected it to be true and now her suspicions have been confirmed.

"I am," I affirm sadly. While it is a relief having one less thing to hide from her, I worry about what she may think of me.

"Why do they call you that, Lauren?" She doesn't seem upset or disgusted which surprises me. Instead, Bo seems more curious to learn more, to dig deeper.

I chuckle at the question. It's one thing I always hate to talk about, well...besides my parents death anyway. "I hate the name, it's silly, but it all started when a man was slapping his wife around in a diner I was at. I couldn't watch it anymore, so I asked him politely to stop and when he told me in rather unpleasant language to mind my own business, I introduced his face to the table, breaking his nose in the process. Everyone was stunned to see a woman act that way, but his wife gave me an appreciative nod. I went and got him a cold rag and since my father was a doctor, I had learned many things helping him out in his office. I reset the man's nose and told him to never touch his wife again, or I'd be back to break his arms. Then there was the guy that wouldn't keep his hands to himself and earned himself a stab wound, which I stitched up for him accompanied by a lecture in manners."

"So you are not a bad person, just teaching lessons to those in need of learning," she half smirks at my confused look.

"Well, there are those who were meant to be killed and apparently there was an audience when I used my six shooter to practically amputate one man's shooting arm, watching him bleed out as he begged for help." I looked her way with steely eyes trying to gauge her reaction, but there was no fear or judgment.

"Is this someone who had caused enough harm for you to feel it was a warranted punishment, or was it just fun for you?" She asks showing no emotion, but I could see a change in her eyes similar to what I saw when she spoke of killing someone when we were in the valley.

"Oh, I felt it was well deserved," I answer with absolute certainty, "though I can't say that I didn't find joy in it."

"Well, if you believed it in your heart, then it must have been bad and I cannot fault you for doing what you felt was right. Is that what you have been doing all this time...when you travel?"

"Kind of," I shrug, "so you can see, I am not a good person, Bo. I don't know why you want to be with someone like me." Why won't she just accept who I am? She is always trying to justify my sins and it drives me insane.

Bo stands up from her spot on the bench and stands in front of me. I look up at her with frustration and a need to make her see things my way, but she doesn't give in. This woman is a stubborn mule, albeit a gorgeous one.

"Lauren as I have said before, I have done things that I am not proud of...things that made me think I was a monster and didn't deserve happiness, but I was wrong and so are you." Bo straddles my lap, pulling herself in close to my body, letting her finger trail down my jawline. "You didn't have to help the people you hurt and whatever your reason for killing the others, I know it's not just for the heck of it. Your not stealing and hurting innocent people. Do you want to tell me who you're after?"

I shake my head, "No, I don't want you involved and if they ever figure out who I am, you could be in danger. That's another reason I never stay put for long or get attached to anyone."

"So, why are you still here now," she asks her eyes full of emotion and desire, causing a shiver to run down my spine from the

"You," I choke out. "Your not like anyone I have ever met. Sometimes I have a hard time believing that you even exist." I trace along her collar bone and draw an inner satisfaction when I see her body respond to my touch. "You reach something deep inside of me and I can't even make sense of it, but my body and my soul have surrendered to you against my will."

"The heart always knows," she leans in and whispers against my skin before gently sucking on my bottom lip.

God, how all I ever want to do is possess this woman and in turn, let her possess me, over and over. It's all I can do to think or talk right now, my mind reeling with the task of sorting out what it all means for me. "How can it know? I don't even know who I am, much less what I want besides..." I trail, off eyes looking into the distance. Bo is looking at me expectantly, but I don't finish the thought. I sense that she already knows I am going to bring up leaving again.

"Lauren you may not know yourself, but I know you and I love you." Her eyes widen when she says the words and my breath catches. I have not heard those words directed at me since my parents and I have never uttered it since.

"Bo I-"

She shushes me with her finger over my lips. "Lauren don't. Don't say anything. I don't want you to feel obligated to anything. Loving you is my burden to bear. I know what's involved, but it doesn't change what I feel. I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world."

I am stunned into silence, able to do nothing but look at the sincerity in her eyes, mine own filled with disbelief and pain from hearing she has given her love to me. I don't deserve such a blessing, but it does make me feel unbelievably good. I see tears welling up in her eyes and I know that I am the cause. It is not fair to her. She has put herself out there knowing the cost and not hearing me return it...I want to say it, but I can't...not now...it would make everything that much harder. I never want to cause her pain and I am once again reminded of why I always run away from her...why I should have left sooner. I am so conflicted, but I know one thing for sure, I have to feel her again. She looks into my soul and sees the torment of emotions within. She lightly touches my face and smiles then takes my hand and leads me inside.

"Bo what are you doing," I manage to whisper. My body screaming to follow her, but my mind not wanting to make matters worse.

"I want to show you what my love for you really feels like," she answers, tugging on my arm a little harder and looking at me with complete adoration. My stomach flutters in anticipation and my sex aches with want.

I am not one to cry, especially after sleeping with someone, but I swear I can feel every bit of emotion Bo has for me in every touch and kiss as she caresses my body. The love, the pain, the heartbreak and the desire...it is the most amazing thing I have ever known, she is the most amazing gift I have ever been given. Screaming her name out into the darkness, all I can wonder is how can I ever get over her?


	8. Chapter 8

_**Yes, yes, many of you see where this story is headed, but I do promise that there is another twist, none of which has really been touched upon yet, so hang in there as both of their worlds will be rocked by the end! I really appreciate all of you who have been following this story and I am so glad you all love a western and dark Lauren! Keep the reviews coming, you guys inspire me so much :)**_

_**PS- there is a scene with a song and yes I know that it wasn't from that time period, but it fits anyway, so just humor me please. "Carried Away" by George Strait**_

**Chapter 8**

_For the first time in a long time, my dream is different. My mother is smiling at me, but this time I am an adult. She is sitting on the porch here in Idaho with me as we look across the pasteur at Clover. She seems genuinely happy for me and squeezes my hand tightly. I feel at peace and when Bo walks out the door, she and my mother exchange smiles. Bo let's us know that lunch is almost ready and makes her way back inside the house. My mother and I stand and head for the door, but when I turn around to look for her, I am back in the same old scene from that fateful day, watching helplessly as my mother is murdered. Fitzpatrcik McCorrigan is laughing at me, but this time I have a gun, which I draw immediately. Before I can fire, he is gone._

I wake up breathing heavily, my body tense and Bo's arm draped across my bare stomach. It is still dark outside and the moon light is shining into the room casting a light on the two of us. I slowly regain my senses and I try to relax knowing that I am safe here. I rarely dream when am with her, but this time...it is as if my parents really do want me to find peace, like Bo said...but I can't. Not as long as he is out there. He will always haunt me and I don't know how much better I will feel when I kill him, but I know I will feel a deep satisfaction about it. Maybe then I can come back to her...to Bo.

"You okay," she asks in a raspy voice. My arm is draped over her head and I didn't realize I was running my fingers through her hair in a subconscious attempt to calm myself.

"Um...yeah. Just a dream. Go back to sleep," I whisper back and let out a deep breath, looking at the beautiful woman snuggled against my side.

"I won't let anyone hurt you, babe," she mutters and pulls me in tighter.

Babe? She's never called me a nickname before, but I kinda like the way it sounds rolling off her tongue, even when she is half asleep. I so wish I could be completely happy right here in her arms, but I never will be until this is done. I decide right away that I will leave in two days, it's time to put it all behind me and move on in my life. I squeeze her tight and kiss her on the forehead trying to make the best of our time we have left. In return, Bo smiles a sleepy smile that makes my heart race. Content at the moment, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep once more.

**XXX**

Later that morning, I cook breakfast and stare out the kitchen window. It's cool and gray and looks like a storm coming in with the dark clouds moving over the mountain tops. Days like this I don't miss being out on the trail. No one can honestly say they love being out in the rain, at least not for a whole day when you are stuck in soggy clothes, chilled to the bone and everything you own is wet no matter how well you try to protect it. Your horse sure isn't happy either and all you really want is a warm dry room with a fireplace and some whiskey.

I am happy today. I have exactly those things and a warm body to keep me company. This is the type of life I could have when I am done wrestling my demons and somedays I wish it would come sooner than others. I sigh and flip the sausage around then return to the view outside. A smile creeps up my lips at Clover running around with a few of the other horses having a grand time. That warm body I was just thinking about suddenly presses up behind me and I feel her arms snake around my waist. Warm lips are pressed to my neck and she whispers into my ear, "What are you thinking?"

Her breath tickles my skin causing me to smile wider. "Nothing, just watching Clover, she's so happy out there. I see a few fence posts leaning and boards missing, so I will probably go fix that after I eat. Do you have extra posts?" I sigh as she brushes her lips lightly along the nape of my neck.

"Yes I do, but you don't have to do that. It's about to start raining and I am sure there are other things you could do in here," she rasps in a seductive tone and giggles devilishly.

"I feel my insides flutter in anticipation of the "other things we could be doing," as her arms squeeze me tighter and her fingers glide under my thermal shirt to graze my stomach. I inhale sharply at her touch and I can tell she is smiling. Evil temptress! I do have to admit that it really is hard to leave her embrace.

"Don't you have to go to work today?" As soon as I ask the question I realize how it sounds and instantly I feel bad about it.

"Why are you trying to get rid of me," she chuckles and releases her hold on me to grab some hot tea. I groan my displeasure as soon as her warmth leaves me.

"No," I waste no time answering lest she think I'm up to something. I'm not going anywhere, but I know she has been neglecting her business to be here with me and as much as I enjoy her company, it does make me feel a little guilty. "But I doubt I could if I wanted to," I smile at her. "I was just wondering. I know it's been several days and you have a business to run," I lean back on the edge of the counter, my arms crossed as I watch her every move. I marvel at how extremely difficult it is to take my eyes off of the woman whenever she is within view and I am still in awe of what she has done to me. "I will go out and fix that fence today though. If it rains too hard it might wash out the dirt and cause the post to fall completely. It won't take me long."

"Well, I do appreciate it. I will have to go in later, actually. I promised Kenzi the night off, but you are welcome to join me," she says eyeing me over the rim of her tea cup. I can tell by her look that she knows exactly what she does to me and that she absolutely enjoys it.

I suddenly feel the urge to turn and put the finishing touches on our food. Her gaze makes me weak and I have to turn away. "We'll see," I grin back at her and she already knows the answer. I am such a push over for her. While I'm not really in the mood to get blindsided by Dyson again, I do want to spend as much time as possible with Bo knowing that I will be heading out again soon.

**XXX**

**Spokane, WA**

Mike walks quickly up to the main house, anxious to tell his boss the new information he has received. Since Mr. McCorrigan put him in charge of finding out about any killings related to his gang, the young man has been scouring the surrounding towns to find something, anything. This time, however, he is smart enough not to go during the old man's shaving hour. He knocks on the front door and is promptly escorted by a young woman to the large living room where Fitzpatrick is seated at a desk. Without looking up or acknowledging the boy in anyway, he simply asks, "What?"

His harsh tone makes Mike cower a little, quickly breaking the confidence he had on the way in. "Sir, I have more news for you. Another one of your old associates was found dead outside Challis, Idaho. The death is a few days apart from the one in Red Lodge, but they seem to be headed in this direction."

This information gives the old man pause as he looks up from his letter and stares at the young man on the other side of the room. "Interesting. No word of who is behind this?"

"No sir, nothing other than the Marshall and another woman who collected the bounty the last time I spoke with you."

"But no bounty this time?"

"None reported sir. They just found the body out in the hills there."

"I highly doubt that a woman is killing all these people, and a Marshall doesn't just go around shooting folks. This is curious..." he let's his eyes drift to the ceiling in contemplation of his options. "It's hard to tell if they are headed here, but I won't take any chances. Tell Bart to up patrols around the border of the property and to let me know immediately if there is anything unusual. Also, let's add a few men up around my place, since they will certainly be coming for me, if indeed that's what they are after."

"Yes sir. I will do it right away and I will keep an ear out for anything else," Mike says excitedly, practically running to find Bart to relay the order.

Fitzpatrick calls the him back with a slight grin on his face, "Mike, that's just the kind of thing that can help a young man go a long way with me, you understand?"

That is all the encouragement he needs and he smiles big and replies, "Yes sir. Thank you sir." He wastes no time finding Bart and immediately heads back to town hoping to find out anything more.

**XXX**

The rain starts to fall and Bo takes a break from cleaning the house to look out the window. The blonde is out there working on the fence with her trusty side kick, Clover, nudging her to hurry up. Bo can't help but smile at the scene and how nice it feels to have Lauren here finally, but the smile quickly fades as she comes to terms with the blonde leaving soon. The brunette wishes she could convince the Lauren to give up this quest for vengeance. Revenge never gave Bo the satisfaction she was hoping for, and as much as she would have liked to teach her father a lesson, she decided to let go of her anger and find happiness. She was not like the rest of her family, so the day her sister was killed in a shootout, she ran and never looked back.

If only she could make Lauren understand how much better life is when you forgive and let go, of course, she never had her family murdered while she watched. Bo can't imagine the pain that would cause, but all she can think about is how this quest might end in Lauren's death. She hates that she will have to watch the woman she loves leave again, but losing her forever would be devastating.

Not realizing how long she was lost in her thoughts, Bo is startled when Lauren comes back through the door. She kicks off her boots, hangs her hat and removes her rain coat. "All done," she smiles with the satisfied look of a job well done.

"Thank you, Lauren. You can hang the jacket in the closet. I bet you are cold, want a hot drink," Bo asks, smiling at the familial feel of the moment. She loves having the blonde here with her and they way they just fit together is so natural. Her heart hurts knowing that it won't be long before it's over, she can feel it, but she keeps a brave face.

**XXX**

I open the door to the closet and hang my jacket and something catches my eye in the back. I reach in to move a few things and a smile crosses my face when I see it. I pull out the guitar and strum lightly on the strings. I look up to find Bo looking at me questioningly. "Do you play," I ask and she looks away in embarrassment. "What? I'm just wondering."

She moves toward me slowly, "Please put that away, Lauren," she begs with a chuckle.

Now I am even more curious, "Why?" I move away from her, content to let her chase me. "I'd love to hear you play, Bo." I flash her my best doe eyes and she pauses for a moment.

"I am no good at it," she shakes her head, "I started to learn a long time ago, but...let's just say it didn't go well" she laughs. "I forgot I even had that old thing."

I play with the strings and tune it a little, "That's too bad. Maybe sometime I will show you. It's a lot easier than most people make it."

"You play?" Her tone is one of shock and surprise, placing her hands on her hips almost in a challenge.

I nod, "A little. My parents liked to play and sing together quite often. I learned some, but I haven't played years."

Bo's laugh is like music to my ears as she sits down and shakes her head. "You are a very talented, very mysterious woman, Lauren Lewis."

I blush slightly and I put the guitar down.

"Oh no you don't," she shakes her head and points at the guitar. "You don't get to tell me you can play that thing and think you can get out of here without a song." Her eyes are shining with excitement and as much as I do not want to do this, I can't find it within myself to say no to her. I haven't played in years and I have never played for anyone but my parents and Clover, so my nerves get the best of me as I feel my hands tremble slightly and I begin to sweat.

She reaches out and touches my hand. "Relax, Lauren. I am not going to judge you. Whatever you do will be miles ahead of me, but I would really love it if you played something for me."

Clearing my throat I try to think of what song I could remember. The one that comes to mind makes me swallow hard as it was my parents favorite, but it also says what I feel for Bo. Gently I begin to strum and I try to gather the courage to actually sing.

I am a little shaky at first, but I close my eyes and as I relax, my voice turns more soulful,

_"I don't take my whiskey to extremes_ _Don't believe in chasin' crazy dreams_ _My feet are planted firmly on the ground_ _But darlin' when you come around,_

_I get carried away by the look by the light in your eyes_ _Before I even realize the ride I'm on, baby I'm long gone_ _I get carried away nothin' matters but bein' with you_ _Like a feather flyin' high up in the sky on a windy day, I get carried away."_

I open my eyes and lock on hers. I hold her gaze as I continue on, letting the song say the words I never seem to be able to say to her. I know by the way Bo is looking at me, her eyes glassy and full of emotion, that she knows exactly what I am doing. It's her special talent, to hear what I can't say.

_"It might seem like an ordinary night_ _Same ol' stars, the same ol' moon up high_ _But when I see you standin' at your door_ _Nothin's ordinary anymore._

_I get carried away by the look by the light in your eyes_ _Before I even realize the ride I'm on baby I'm long gone_ _I get carried away nothin' matters but bein' with you_ _Like a feather flyin' high up in the sky on a windy day, I get carried away."_

I finally break our gaze and look down at the strings, strumming the last few chords. I put the instrument down on the floor and stare at it. "That's the one song I really remember. It was my parents favorite, but umm..."" I glance back up at her through my lashes, "it describes the way I feel about you," I say and quickly look away, suddenly feeling shy. I fidget my fingers until I feel her warm hand on my own. She has tears running down her face and she slides over, cupping my face with her hands and placing a lingering kiss on my lips.

Her soft lips gracing me with their presence are like the warm sunshine on a cold winter day, heating me from the inside out._ "So worth it,"_ is all I can think as I look at how happy she is.

"Thank you, Lauren. That was beautiful. You play very well and your voice is amazing, too."

I blush and nod my appreciation. Unable to find words right now, I just squeeze her hand and pull it up to my lips, kissing her palm."

Several moments pass before I get up to grab some tea that she made. I pour us both a cup and sit down next to her, handing Bo a cup. She grins at me and curls up into my side as we watch the rain fall out the window.

**XXX**

Later that afternoon, Dyson is taking a nap in the back room of the sheriff's office when he hears a knock on the door. He peeks out the window to find a tall blonde U.S. Marshall standing in the office. He clears his throat and calls out, "Just a second, I'll be right out." The sheriff quickly straightens himself up and walks out with authority. "Hello, Sheriff Dyson Thornwood, Pleased to meet you Marshall...?" he tips his hat and pauses to get her name.

"Enough with the formalities, just call me Tamsin. I just got into town and I wanted to check in on any important news I may have missed on the way over."

"Nothing new really. There were a few killings reported a few weeks ago between Challis and Red Lodge, but all is peaceful here," he smiles proudly, letting his eyes wander down the fit body of the Marshall.

Tamsin takes notice and clears her throat causing Dyson to snap out of his daze and look her in the eye. She smirks and crosses her arms, "Good to hear. I wanted to give you the courtesy of knowing I am in town if you need anything.**"**

"I appreciate that. Will you be staying long," he asks a little too hopefully.

_"Men are such ,"_ she thinks and for a moment she considers screwing with him. Instead she let's her smug grin take over decides to find Lauren, leaving her entertainment for later. "I don't know, depends," she starts to leave, then turns back around quickly, "by the way, have you seen a cantankerous blonde cowgirl around?"

He laughs at the description, but he can't help but be intrigued at the Marshall's interest in Lauren. "Why yes, actually. Is she wanted," he asks almost hopefully, "I can have her here in twenty minutes."

"No, no. We are just old friends. She mentioned she might be headed this way, but I didn't know if she would still be here. Don't tell her you saw me, I always like to surprise her," she winks.

"Very well. You can probably find her at the saloon later," he says, a little deflated. The fact that Lauren and the Marshall are friend's kind of blows his whole theory of her out the window, but he still doesn't trust her to not get Bo hurt. There is just something about her that doesn't sit well with him.

Tamsin tips her hat to him with a mischievous smirk, "See ya round Sheriff." The blonde takes a stroll around the quiet little town before stopping in to rent a stall and inquire about a room. The man points her toward the saloon, which has a few rooms available most of the time. Putting her horse up for the night, she makes her way back up town. Reaching the swinging doors of the saloon, she takes a look around before entering. Not many patrons right now and no Lauren in sight, but there is a dark haired girl behind the bar. The blonde takes a seat and slaps some money on the counter top and calls out, "Barkeep, shot of whiskey for a weary traveler."

Kenzi jumps slightly at the noise and turns to see the cranky looking blonde seated at the end of the bar. Unimpressed by her entrance, the girl huffs, "Alright, hold your horses blondie. I'll be right there." She fills a shot glass and saunters over, leaning down to read the badge.

Tamsin quickly downs the glass, pausing for a moment to savor the burn. "That's good stuff. I'll have another and a room if you have one."

The girl refills the glass, watching the woman curiously with bright blue eyes as Tamsin throws back the second shot just as fast. "Never seen you round here before. What brings you to town Marshall?"

"Didn't realize I needed to clear my travel plans with you. Ever heard of official business and a little thing called privacy," the blonde asks with her usual smugness.

"Nope. It's my business to make sure there's no trouble here and that none of my friends get hurt. It doesn't matter if you tell me, I have ways of finding out."

"Not that it is any of your business," Tamsin smirks, "but I am here to meet a friend. Have you seen a tall, cranky blonde cowgirl named Lauren around town?"

Kenzi tenses up hearing the Marshall ask about the blonde and her blue eyes narrow suspiciously. "I find it highly unlikely that you two are friends."

"Ah, so you do know her," the Marshall chuckles, "yes, Lauren is not very social, but we go way back. Know where I can find her?" She taps the bar top signaling another round.

There is no way Kenzi is going to tell her where Bo lives, but she knows that the woman will find Lauren eventually if she really wants to. Maybe it's best to have her meet here where Bo can keep an eye on things in case there is something fishy here. The girl leans back against the counter, arms crossed and blue eyes intensely watching the blonde, "You're in luck. I do have a room left and you may catch her here later tonight. Better not be any trouble in my place. I don't care who you are. Got it blondie?"

"I like you," Tamsin chuckles while Kenzi pours another glass, "you are straight up, no bullshit. I can appreciate that." She finishes her drink, drops some more money on the table and heads up to her room.

All the while, Kenzi watches her wondering where this is going to lead and hoping it is not a bad thing for her best friend Bo, who is finally happy and over the moon for Lauren.

**XXX**

Around four o'clock in the afternoon, a giddy Bo comes strolling in with Lauren in tow. The place is beginning to get their dinner rush as patrons slowly filter in. Looks like it will be a busy night for the brunette. Not seeing Kenzi anywhere, Bo sets the blonde up with a beer and goes to check in the stock room, where she finds the girl getting more whiskey bottles.

Lauren takes a seat at the end of the bar and sips her beer when she suddenly feels a familiar presence. She doesn't even have to look at the person that just sat down next to her, she already knows. The real question is, what is she doing here after what Lauren saw in Red Lodge. Happy she is wearing her gun today, Lauren sips her beer with her left hand and let's her right one drift down to her six shooter.

"Tamsin, what the hell do you want?"


	9. Chapter 9

_**I lurve that a few of you took it as a challenge to PM me and try to guess the twists that are coming. It won't be long till the s*** starts to hit the fan and the pieces will all come together. Thank you all for following, reviewing and taking the leap to read a Doccubus western. :D**_

**Chapter 9**

"Bo, I am glad you guys are finally here" Kenzi says breathlessly as she runs into the storeroom behind the brunette. "There is a U.S. Marshall in town that is looking for Lauren. Says they are old friends or something. I think something is going on," she says as she looks over her shoulder like someone might be listening.

Bo is looking at her best friend like she has two heads right now as she is all frantic, "Calm down, like what?"

"I don't know, but we both know Lauren is not little miss social, so friend? I think that's pushing it," she chuckles in disbelief.

"Hey," Bo interjects, "she is a lot different than you think."

Her friend just waves her hands as if to say "whatever" and paces around the room. "Anyway, she was checking the place out and she got a room upstairs for a few days. I also have to wonder if she is really even a Marshall. Maybe we should check with Dyson."

Shaking her head the brunette protests, "You can check with him. I don't want to deal with him. He already doesn't like Lauren. Maybe we should get out there in case she shows up."

**XXX**

Tamsin doesn't immediately answer my question which only serves to make me more irritated with her sudden appearance. I never expected to have her show up after our last meeting. Seeing her with her arms around one of McCorrigan's gang didn't sit well with me and only reaffirmed the reasons why I never let anyone in...well, except for Bo. The Marshall and I share a close relationship, but even she has not been privy to the parts of me that I have shared with Bo.

"I said I'd meet you here mid-September. Actually, I'm surprised you're still here. This town is pretty boring for an adventurer such as yourself," she remarks in that sarcastic tone I have become so accustomed to over the years.

Steeling my jaw, I can't help but wonder what her motives are. It can't be to sleep with me again and she obviously isn't going to kill me herself. "Why are you here? You could have just waited for me in Spokane. You know I'll show up eventually and then you can have me killed, so why all the extra attention," I spit back at her. I still have no desire to look at her face as I feel my anger bubbling up from her betrayal. Seriously, if she was just going to lead me on so McCorrigan could kill me, why take so long?

"It's hard to resist how cute you are when your angry," I can feel her smirking at me but I just grit my teeth and keep my eyes hidden under my hat so as not to give anything away, "besides, can't a girl have a sit down with an old friend?"

I feel her hand on my shoulder which I quickly shrug off and huff, "Hmph, a friend. We seem to have differing opinions on the meaning of the word friend. To me, a friend wouldn't pretend to be helping me while secretly luring me into a trap, so please leave now before this gets ugly." I feel my body stiffen knowing that she won't go easily. The woman obviously has something she wants to say besides how cute I am and she needs to start talking. I look at my hand and notice my knuckles are white from gripping the glass so tightly.

"Lauren please, you've got it all wrong. I would never hurt you, just let me explain," she pleads.

Tamsin pulls my shoulder around to face her and I see sadness in those intense green eyes and I can tell she is sincere. It doesn't mean I have to make it easy on her though. Behind the Marshall I see Bo run out the stock room door and freeze when she sees the two of us. As angry as I am, I cant help but relax a bit when I see her. I know Tamsin noticed as her eyes are quickly drawn to the brunette. She glances between us a few times, but I have focused my attention back on my beer hoping to throw her off.

Bo comes over cautiously as she checks out the blonde sitting beside me, "Anyone need a refill?"

We both shake our heads no and I catch her eyes silently asking if I am alright. I tip my head away from Tamsin slightly and give her a wink that says I am fine. Kenzi has come out behind her with an "Oh Shit" look on her face that would seem to indicate that she knows something is up. I will have to ask her later.

"Alright, but if either of you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." Bo gives me a worried look before she reluctantly walks away and begins to polish some glasses in an spot that she can keep an eye on us.

Kenzi wastes no time hurrying back to her side and I see the two of them whispering and casting glances our way. I am glad that Tamsin has long since turned her attention back to me and doesn't seem to notice the extra attention on us. Looking back up at the blonde, her pained expression softens me for a moment. She has never let me down before, maybe I should hear the reason. "Okay thirty seconds to say whatever it is you need to say." I spin around and flip my hat up so I can look her directly in the eye. She doesn't flinch or back away, not that she ever does, but I can feel the determination in her stare, and something else I am not sure of right now.

Tamsin touches my arm lightly and I can feel Bo staring daggers at the woman. I look down at her hand on me and slowly pull my arm free. "Look what you saw that night...yes he is in their gang but he joined them to help me bring them down."

"Why would someone do that, that's suicide," I brush off her ridiculous explanation.

"Lauren, he is my brother," she says plain as day.

"What? Are you mad? He's going to get killed!" I try to keep her voice hushed but the surprise of the news catches me off guard. I was not expecting this at all.

Tamsin's voice is quietly scolding, "Can we talk about this somewhere else? I have a room upstairs."

I nod and agree that we should go somewhere more private. I signal for Bo to come over. I know she is worried and I don't want to go anywhere without letting her know I am alright. "Bo this is an old friend of mine, Tamsin. She is a U.S. Marshall that has helped me over the years. We are going to step away and talk over a few things in private."

"Nice to meet you Tamsin," Bo says pleasantly, letting go of her earlier worries, but I can see in her eyes she still has questions.

I leave money down for the drinks and catch Tamsin sizing up the brunette. Bo is good about hiding her feelings, but I know she is not happy about the looks the woman is giving her or the way she looks and touches me. Tamsin smirks at the brunette as she leads the way to her room upstairs. I look down the stairway and notice Bo frowning at us. I offer her an apologetic smile, holding her eyes until I reach the top.

Once in her room, Tamsin paces as I lean against the wall listening to her, "The Marshalls have been after him for years even before I joined them. It was my first month on the job when the shootout near El Paso happened. We really thought we had him then, but the bastard has a lot of clout. He's got his hands in everything, he always has someone in his pocket, even Marshall's. So he got away again. We did manage to take out a lot of the gang and even some family. Eventually I decided to go it alone since you never could tell who you could trust."

I nod my understanding, after all, that's the same reason I work alone. "How long has your brother been in?"

"After several years, we had hit a dead end with McCorrigan. I needed to get a man inside to pin point where the old man is since he is always moving around trying to add to his collection of properties. My brother has been in for about three years now. We try to meet in towns away from his holdings or wire messages under fake names. He tells me where they are setting up and where the old man will be." She stops pacing and faces me, her eyes wrought with determination. "I have been waiting for the right moment and hoping you would be ready so we could do this together."

A few things are clear now. Things I didn't know before that lead to my life falling apart. "So you guys killed his daughter?"

She nods, "Actually, I did, one of them anyway."

"So, I guess I have you guys to thank for my pain. If you don't get into a shootout there, they never come to my dad for help and my parents wouldn't have been murdered."

I see her crumble as the realization suddenly hits her. "Oh my god Lauren. I am so sorry. No one could have known that would happen. We were so sure we would get him that time."

"But you didn't." I bow my head and reflect, knowing that none of it means a damn thing now, but it doesn't keep me from being angry about the events in my life, even all these years later, I feel rage.

"We didn't," Tamsin stands closer, invading my personal space as she places her hands on my shoulders and then cups my face, her voice softens, "I really am sorry, for any pain I may have unknowingly caused you."

My eyes are closed tightly, fighting back the anger and hurt I am feeling, trying to remind myself that they were just doing their job and had no idea what the crazy old man would do. If anything you'd think he'd go after the one's that did the killing, not the one that was trying to do the saving.

Suddenly I feel her lips on mine, her arms are wrapped around my neck and back pulling me in tightly. Stunned, my hat hits the floor and it takes me a few moments to realize what is going on. When I try to pull back, she tightens her hold.

Struggling to turn my head and free my lips, I mumble, "Tamsin, stop. I can't." She is persistent and strong, continuing to crash her lips onto mine in an effort to get me to give in. Our encounters have always been passionate, and sometimes rough, but now that I have Bo, there is no one else I want, or need, in that way.

"Why Lauren? You know how I feel about you. We are so good together," she continues to plead her case, her body pressing firmly against mine in all the right places.

She does know how to get me going, or she used to anyway. I feel guilty for using her, but I no longer have any feeling for her beyond a close friend. I haven't in a while if I am to be honest with myself, but she was safe and familiar and I could trust her, but now I have to end it all...clear the air between us if we are to keep this friendship alive. I manage to push her back enough to speak clearly. "We've had this conversation before Tamsin. I've always been honest with you about what I can give you, and that is all. I can't do this with you. I'm sorry I let it go this long, it wasn't fair to you."

Finally, Tamsin stops her assault and presses her forehead to mine. "To be fair, I lied saying I was fine with it. I just wanted to take whatever you would give, hoping that you would eventually feel for me what I feel for you, but I guess that's never going to happen is it?" She begins to loosen her hold and pulls back so she can look at me, her green eyes are glassy and I can see the pain inside. "It's her isn't it? The reason you can't be with me...the reason you were smiling last time I saw you...it's Bo."

I close my eyes and nod, having a hard time looking her in the eyes knowing that her heart is breaking, but at the same time, a gentle smile creeps up my lips at the mention of Bo. "Yes, it's Bo...I'm so sorry Tamsin. I never meant to hurt you," I say with all the sincerity in my heart. "I just needed some company once in a while and I know that was selfish, but when I was with you I really did enjoy our time together. For what it's worth, I truly do care about you. You're the one person I can call a friend."

I am surprised to hear the muffled sounds of crying, but she turns quickly hiding her eyes. She clears her throat and straightens herself as she looks out the window. "I appreciate that more than you know, Lauren. I do want us to be friends still." It looks as though she wipes her eyes and when she turns to me, my suspicions are correct. Her eyes are red and glassy as she looks right at me, "I still have every intention of helping you take down McCorrigan. Just let me know when you want to leave."

"Alright. I appreciate that, Tamsin. Really I do. I was thinking another day or so. I will come and get you when I know for sure. I'll be down stairs for a while if you want to come back down for dinner." I turn and open the door. Just as I am about to walk out she calls me back.

"Lauren? For what it's worth, she's beautiful. You sure know how to pick'em," she forces a smile. I don't know what to say so I tip my hat and smile back, gently closing the door behind me.

I had no idea if she would come back down tonight, but I hope she does. We have been friends for years and even though this is an awkward time for us, I would still like to have her in my life.

As I make my way back down stairs I spot a relieved brunette smiling at me from behind the bar. I smile brightly like an idiot, just the way I always do when she looks at me that way. I take a seat across from her and look into those dark brown eyes I love so much. "Hey pretty lady."

Her smile reaches her eyes and there's that dimple. Just the reaction I was hoping for.

"Hello to you. What can I get you," she says and leans on the bar.

I let me eyes drift down to her chest before meeting her sparkling gaze once more. I lean in closer and whisper, "I had my mind set on a breathtakingly beautiful brunette. You have any of those around here?"

Bo laughs seductively as she teases back, "Easy cowgirl, This ain't a brothel, but if you don't mind waiting a few hours, I think I know one that you'd enjoy." She winks at me and we return wide smiles.

"Well then, I guess I have some time to kill. How about a beer."

Pouring my beer I can see she has many questions for me and I know that I will have to be honest with her. We are way past me hiding and I don't want there to be any suspicions about me and Tamsin.

"So, you gonna tell me what that was all about," she quirks her brow and slides me the beer.

One thing about Bo is she has no problem saying what's on her mind or going after what she wants. She didn't like her life so she changed it. She wanted me and damn if she didn't get me to admit to myself how much I want her. It's one of the things I love so much about that woman, her bravery.

"Yes," I take a swig of beer, "She is on old friend. We met years back. She helped me clear my name and put me on a new path and I saved her when a couple of outlaws got the jump on her. Ever since we have met up and done some business together. She is the only person I trusted until you."

Bo blushes a little when I look at her with honest emotion in my eyes. "Umm...Lauren, I hate to be the jealous type, but she seemed a little too friendly. Are you sure there is nothing else going on there? I mean, I know you don't owe me any explanations...I just..."

"Bo, it's fine. I won't lie to you. Yes, we have slept together over the years, but I was always firm that it was nothing more than sex. It was safe and comfortable and she was the only person I had felt remotely close to."

"She looks at you with more than that in her eyes."

There was no putting anything past Bo. As a bartender she gets to observe people everyday and she is well aware what a look of hidden desire looks like. Even so, her blunt questioning makes me a little uncomfortable. This whole sharing thing is still a little new to me.

"Yeah, uh...she did want more. I explained that I couldn't give it to her. When she saw you here today, she knew why. Everything is fine though. We talked it over and cleared the air. She really is a good person and a strong woman, just like you," I smile to break the tension I feel between us. "This stays between you and me, okay."

"No problem, and thank you. I am glad you trust me enough to be honest with me." She reaches out and puts her hand over mine. "She is quite the looker. I'd be jealous if I didn't already know that your heart was all mine. Seems you have a thing for the strong, pretty ones, huh" she jokes and winks at me.

"Apparently that's my type. I have never been complemented twice in one day on my ability to get beautiful women," I laugh until I notice the perplexed look on her face. "Tamsin said the same thing about you," I clarify. "And Bo...my heart is yours and only yours as long as it continues to beat."

I am caught off guard when she turns away from me. She looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath before turning back around with tears in her eyes.

Immediately I a worry. What did I do or say wrong? "Bo, what's wrong? What did I do?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head, "Nothing." She runs her fingers through her long dark hair as she collects her thoughts. I watch with concern as she struggles to find the words to match her thoughts. "It's just...I love you, Lauren and know you are leaving soon. I don't even know where you are going or if you'll be back. Will I ever see you again? I know I said it's my burden to bare, it's just so easy to love you, but it's also the hardest thing I've ever done."

She grabs a towel and wipes her face. I see Kenzi watching as she notices Bo upset. I reach over and grab Bo's arm to get her attention. "I know what you mean Bo. I am feel like all I do to everyone is apologize for making them feel bad. Letting you in is the best thing I've ever done for myself and the worst thing I could have ever done to you, but you have changed everything for me. I know what I want when I find my peace and it is you. You asked me once if it is "can't or won't" and I didn't know, but now I know...it's can't. Not yet, but soon and all I ask is for your patience and understanding."

She seems as dumbstruck at my open admission as I am. She places her hand over mine and runs her thumb softly across. Since when am I the discuss your feelings type? She definitely has changed me and I know it's just that she is making me more human. Something I have lost in all this time that I have let my self go to the darkness, enslaved by this concept of revenge. But I am seeing the light now, and I just need to finish this quickly and get back to Bo.

Kenzi decides to see what is going on as I watch her carefully move in closer. "Hi there! Are you two love birds alright? It looks a little intense over here."

Bo smiles and glances at me, then back to her concerned friend, "We are fine, thanks. We are more than fine actually." When she says it she quickly catches me eye and the look I see tells me it's true. We are fine and I suddenly feel exhausted from all of this emotional outpouring. I think beer is a good idea and I chug the remainder of the glass and wipe my face with my hand.

The two laugh at me, my unease obvious to them both. Kenzi slaps me on the shoulder, "Quite the day for you, huh? Old friends, socializing, feelings," she laughs.

Bo hits her in the arm and scolds her like a mother, "Kenz!"

"Ow! What?" The girl looks at Bo and then at me.

I chuckle and agree with her, "No, she's right. That has to be a record for me."

The three of us fall into a comfortable conversation. Kenzi is officially off work and yet, she stays as we share some war stories from the bar and the trails. I marvel t how comfortable I feel around the pair. Kenzi is one of the most intimidating, yet genuine women I have ever met and you can see her loyalty to her best friend. I see the pair look up and go silent as I hear someone behind me.

"May I join you," a hesitant voice asks softly.

I know her voice and I am relieved that she has decided to come back down. I turn and smile graciously at her, "Of course old friend. You are always welcome."

There is a little bit of uncomfortable tension in the beginning, but Tamsin soon fits right into our little group and I am happier for it. It has been a long time since I had anything like a family, but sitting here with them right now...it's kind of how it feels. Amazing what can happen in a few weeks time. Kenzi calls it a night, saying that the last thing she should do on her off time is spend it at the bar. I would have to agree with that, and we bid her good night.

**XXX**

As she is heading out for the evening, Kenzi sees Dyson watching the three women enjoying themselves. Bo and Tamsin both have their attention on Lauren, but Bo is seated right against her.

"Hey Sheriff? Whatcha doin' all the way back here. They won't bite," Kenzi jokes, trying to figure out why he looks so perplexed.

His brow furrows at the scene before him and Dyson asks, "What is going on there?"

The girl just shrugs. "Old friends, new friends...just a bunch of girl's having a good time. Why?"

"I don't know, it looks...more intimate?" He asks in a tone that wonders if the word he used is appropriate. He knows that Bo says she is over him, yet seeing her hanging on Lauren is deeply disturbing for reasons he can't even seem to understand. And the Marshall? Really, her too? What is it about the blonde cowgirl that has them so mesmerized?

Kenzi is watching him as he looks at the threesome. She is trying to grasp his discomfort and chalks it up to male ego. Bo is the woman he has always pined after, even after marriage, and Tamsin, well... she's a gorgeous blonde and surely he has a thing for her too. That's just the way he is. He's a good man, but definitely has the male ego issue.

"Well, as an insider I would say it was a pissing match over who gets Lauren, but I would bet my perfectly proportioned bottom that Bo has already won that competition."

She notices his eyes sadden at the news of the two of them officially together. He's not sure why he keeps holding out hope that she will come back to him, but maybe it's time to put that to rest. He sighs. "I don't get it."

Kenzi pats him on the back. "If you were around them together, you'd get it big guy. They are like soul mates or something. They love each other and Bo is happy. So be happy for her."

He looks at the little girl and smiles. He knows she is right. Thanks Kenzi. You're a good friend."

She laughs, "I'm the best friend! Goodnight Dyson." She leans in and gives him a consoling hug that he returns strongly.

When she leaves, he watches the ladies for a few more moments before Bo notices him. She tips her head in acknowledgement and he can only smile and tip his hat back at her. He walks out of the saloon feeling defeated, but a weight has been lifted off him at finally realizing she was never coming back to him.

**XXX**

_**That last part is just for you Spyklv! ;)** _


	10. Chapter 10

_**Sorry it has been a while, but I promise to be more diligent in updates. Just to clarify, as it has been asked, Lauren was 13 when her parents were killed and Bo was 18. It is ten years later. Tamsin has not had an age discussed, but she is slightly older than Bo. Remember, this is supposed to be old west, so kids easily joined the "family business" at a much younger age. So you could probably imagine a 15-16 year old Bo doing her father's bidding with the others and being exposed to it all on a daily basis. I have thoroughly enjoyed the reviews for this story, so please keep them coming as I find them very inspiring. I am also beyond pleased that more and more readers are on board for a western.**_

_****__**Also, some lovely ladies on twitter, otilliavisser and r0ci0am, were kind enough to form a fan club for me and Sydney563. If you enjoy our fanfiction, you can follow us WantedStrangers **_

_**Thank you for all of the support and now it's time for some action!**_

**Chapter 10**

Usually the blonde gunslinger is the first to rise, but today Bo wakes first and finds her still asleep. After the night the blonde had, tossing and whimpering constantly, it is a good thing for her to finally be sleeping soundly. Several times Bo draped an arm around her lover to calm her down and she wants so badly to ask, but thinks better of it. The blonde is lying on her side facing away from her with the sheet around her waist, leaving her torso exposed to the brunette. Bo's never really looked at Lauren's back, at least not in the daylight, and she feels tears well up at several marks that resemble whippings. Her flank is healing well, but it will leave a scar and there are a few other minor marks that almost look like burns. Reaching out to run her fingers over the scars, Bo stops short for fear of waking Lauren, or worse, stirring up any bad memories, but the brunette can't help but wonder what stories lie with each one.

It pains Bo to know that whatever demons Lauren is fighting have such a strong hold on her that even in sleep she is fighting them. Recalling her own struggles years ago, for a moment she ponders telling the blonde the truth, but quickly decides against opening a new can of worms. She just wishes she could help her defeat her enemies without leaving and she keeps holding onto the hope that Lauren will open up to her.

**Ten Years Ago-Amarillo, TX**

"Daddy, are you sure you want to do this? Is business really worth taking lives?" Bo never could understand the madness that drives her father to hurt people in his pursuit of business. She always believed that there was a way to be successful and powerful without stepping on the less fortunate, or being outright cruel. She has often stood up to the man she calls "Daddy" only to be shot down, or quite often, physically put back in her place. While he was kinder to his daughters than his son, his gang, or the people he owned, she was not lacking in scars, physically or emotionally.

Fitzpatrick McCorrigan narrows his eyes at his youngest daughter and slowly approaches. He strolls around her as she sits frozen in place. This is not a good thing. When her father does this it usually results in someone's torture, or death, as he sizes them up and decides how best to break them. Bo remains still, puffing out her chest a bit in an effort to seem brave, but the old man knows better, she has challenged him before. As he comes back around to face her, he smacks her hard across the face, drawing blood from her lip. Bo quickly reaches up to cover the red mark left behind by his palm, but doesn't make a sound, she just glares at him with her other hand balled into a fist.

"Ysabeau," Trick crosses his arms and looks her dead in the eye, examining her for any sign of fear, but there is none. "Why must you always challenge me? Don't I provide for you? For your sister? For your brother? Hell, for all the rest of the people under my employ?" His voice rises as he begins to pace, taking the opportunity every few steps to glare back at her. "Some people need to be an example for others to see what's best for themselves. This will help all of them and there is just two families in the way of it, so they must be shown why the good of the many is the best option. Besides, no one says they have to die, they just need to make the right choice," he says with an evil grin as he stops pacing and once again stands facing her directly.

"Don't you mean the good it will do you? You don't care about the others," she responds incredulously, her stomach beginning to turn at his sickening smile.

He laughs at her, "All of my business helps others grow, Ysabeau. I can't let a few closed minded ones place a burden on those that want to better themselves. Ysabeau, you WILL come with me, Maria, Myles and the boys to see firsthand how I take care of this problem and how this will be of benefit to all of those people down there near that little town."

Drooping her head in submission, Bo saved her fight for another day and replied quietly, "Yes, daddy."

**XXX**

**10 Years Ago, Same Day-El Paso, TX**

A room full of US Marshalls and local sheriff deputies are armed and ready as the plan is laid out. Marshall Smith has been the man in charge of bringing the McCorrigan gang to justice for the last three years and for the first time, he feels confident that they can finally bring this to an end. He has it on good authority that the old man will be there to oversee the activities and dead or alive, they will get him. Quietly leaning against the wall is a fresh faced blonde who has only been a Marshall for a few months. She has her own reasons for wanting the man dead. As the meeting breaks and they plan to reconvene the next day just before heading out to their destination, the memory of her own loss fills her mind.

Three years ago McCorigan was ramming some new business venture down the throats of the people in her little town. Most of the township voted to accept the payout and let the man have his way, but her father heldfast, convinced that it would only end up destroying their happy town rather than helping it grow. Blinded by the money being thrown at them and the pressure to conform, their family friends turned on them. They soon began receiving death threats and their little business wasted away to nothing. Finally bowing to the pressure and praying that he was wrong, her father agreed to the offer. Their place was important because it was one of the larger ones right along the edge of the property being used for the trade depot. Tamsin always believed that there was another reason he caved, but she could never prove it. After a one on one meeting with McCorrigan, her father seemed different, afraid. He was always hugging her and saying how much he loved them all. When her brother Jimmy found him dead from hanging in their back yard a few months later, she thought back to that day. The town went downhill fast as the depot brought all types of unsavory characters that plundered their businesses and murdered people. She thinks her father felt responsible for giving in. Truth be told, he'd been dead sooner if he hadn't given in to the old man. Tamsin swore that day that she would find a way to bring him to justice.

**XXX**

**Present Day**

Sleep was hard to come by last night as my dreams drifted from losing my parents to losing the old couple that took me in, but as I lie awake now, it is yet another perfect morning waking up with a sleeping Bo wrapped around me. There is a content little smile on her lips that causes me to wonder what she is dreaming. I am envious of her, I wish I could be that peaceful. Knowing my upcoming plan only sets me more on edge. I am dreading the conversation we need to have today about my leaving tomorrow. I can only hope that she truly understands why I have to finish this and she believes that I do want to come back to her. Unconsciously tracing lazy circles on her hand, I feel her stir slightly. Not ready for her to break the hold she has on me, I pull her hand up to my lips and press a soft kiss to her palm while holding it close to me. Her body automatically moves in tighter against mine and I hear her breathing interrupt before evening out again, letting me know that she is still asleep. Each time I am amazed how she responds to me whether awake or asleep. Everything about her is like a dream and she fits me perfectly. I allow my lips to turn up into a smile as I close my eyes, trying like hell to imagine what a life with Bo would be like when I get back.

I find it difficult to picture such happy endings. I have yet to see one. The world seems more like it is wrought with suffering than happiness and sometimes I wonder what the point is to it all. Bo is stirring once more, causing something inside me to sing in anticipation of a new day with this woman that I have seemingly fallen for like ton of bricks. I am so entranced by her beauty as her eyes slowly flutter open, adjusting to the light of the new day. Despite my deep feelings for Bo, I haven't said those words to her yet, even though she has said them to me. She says it is okay, she doesn't expect me to say it back, but I know better. I can see it in her expressive brown eyes pleading for me to let down one more wall. I may not be experienced in love, but I know what the woman...most women, want to hear. Three little words that can mean the world, but I have seen them thrown around callously and cause pain rather than joy. I refuse to do that to her. She deserves better than that, better than empty promises and half truths spoken.

Bo knows what she means to me, yet I find it impossible to say it right now, as if I am afraid it will make things worse when I leave, or if I don't make it back...which is a realistic possibility. I'm no romantic. I have seen the dark side and I know what Tamsin and I are getting ourselves into, we both do, and we accept whatever fate lies ahead.

I feel her hand slide up my arm and come to rest on my cheek as she gives me a delicious, sleepy smile. I close my eyes and soak up her warmth, feeling the anxiety and despair fill me now that she is awake and conversation is inevitable.

"Bo," I whisper in a raspy morning voice. Seeing her watching me with such adoration makes everything more difficult, but it's hard not to smile with the way she makes me feel so alive inside.

"I know," she presses her hand firmly to my face and smiles sadly back at me. I can see it in her eyes, but I can't bring myself to say it yet. I am hoping to enjoy our day together, so I just pretend that I have no intentions of doing anything.

"You know what?" A look of confusion on my face, I am hoping beyond hope that she is thinking something else.

Closing her eyes as if she can't look at me when she says it, her smile turns sad when she answers, "That you are leaving." The tremble in her voice is noticeable and it makes my heart break.

"Oh." My eyes cast down, hiding my guilt from my attempted lie.

She lifts my chin up and looks me in the eye, not allowing me to hide from her. "When?"

Damn emotions! I am not used to this lack of control that I experience when she is around as I feel tears threaten to fall. I swallow hard. "Tomorrow."

Bo sighs, forcing a smile to her face and brushes the hair from my face. "I knew it would be soon."

Grabbing her hand and holding it close to my heart, I give her a pleading look...pleading for understanding, pleading for patience, "I was going to tell you. I made you a promise...I just thought we could enjoy some of our day first."

"I trust you Lauren. I just wish you would tell me who your after or where your going."

Now it is her turn to plead with me, and while it is nearly impossible to deny her anything when she looks at me that way, I refuse to break this time. "I don't want to get you involved, does it really matter?" I release her hand and roll to get out of bed, but I feel her grab my arm, stopping me from my escape. I don't look back at her. I can't. I know all I need by the tone of her voice and the grip on my arm.

Her grip loosens from my arm and there is now a softness to her voice, "Of course it matters. I love you, even though you're as hard headed as a goat, and I wish I could get you to stay here, but I know why you can't. I understand, I do...I just...I just wish I finally knew where and who. Is that too much to ask?"

I shake my head. "No, I suppose not." I lie back in the bed and roll to face her. "I am headed to Spokane. Tamsin is coming with me. We will finish this together."

I can see that she really wanted a name, but this will have to suffice. There is a brief silence while my words process in her brain. With a neutral tone and no expression on her face, she says plainly, "While I am glad you are not going to do this alone, I hope your former lover will keep her hands to herself." Now sporting a glint in her eyes, she smiles and leans in, pecking me on the lips.

Even a gesture as simple as the kiss gives me chills. I smirk at her jealous side finding it amusing that she thinks anyone could ever hold a candle to her in my mind. "She will. She can be trusted on all accounts and we will keep each other safe."

"Who are you after Lauren, because I know you have been chasing people all around the country?"

She is persistent, I will give her that, but I shake my head and roll out of bed, "Let's just enjoy our day Bo. Please?"

I may not be able to see her face, but I am sure what it looks like. I have seen disappointment and concern before. I hate that I am the one causing hers, but I have no choice. She said it herself, she knew what she was getting into falling for me. I, on the other hand, didn't know what I was getting into falling for her. Inhaling deeply, I run my fingers through my hair and let the air pass out through my lips. I push my hands down on my lap and push up from the bed, heading to the bathroom and leaving her on the bed. I can feel her eyes on me until I hear her get up from the bed and head out toward the kitchen. This is so hard, harder than I imagined. I never should have stayed this long, but I couldn't tear myself away. I wash my face and throw on some clothes, looking out the window to find Clover waiting anxiously for me.

As I make my way toward the kitchen, I see Bo sitting at the table with her hands on her head and I freeze immediately, feeling my stomach drop. "Bo, are you alright?" I softly ask her even though I know the answer. I'm an ass and it is all my fault, though knowing who I am after really wouldn't bring her any comfort. He's only the most evil, corrupt man in the country and no one has ever come close to bringing him down. I don't know why I believe that Tamsin and I can do any better, but we just have to try.

"Um, yeah. I'm fine Lauren," I hear her sniffle lightly, "just some old memories, that's all." She wipes her face and smiles gingerly back at me.

Yeah, she's not selling me on it, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

For some reason that makes her laugh, it's more of a huff actually, as if she is wondering how I have the nerve to ask that when I know damn well what I can do. "Other than the obvious? No. Just be careful, Lauren. Revenge can make one weak and stupid and I really want you to come back to me."

Closing the distance between us, I stop right behind her, place my hands on her shoulders and give them a squeeze. "Just know that there is nothing I want more than to make it back to you."

"It seems there is one thing you want more," she utters rather harshly, then quickly softens, "but I understand. You wouldn't be happy here without closure. I do hope you find it, Lauren. I really do." She looks up at me with glassy, brown eyes and I can see that she is sincere.

"You want to go for a ride? It's beautiful outside. I'll pack us a lunch," I say and begin making some food without waiting for a response. I peek up at her through my lashes an catch her smiling sadly at me before nodding her head and heading to change clothes. As soon as she is out of the room I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. This is going to be a trying day.

**XXX**

Alone in the bedroom, Bo let's her thoughts drift back once again. She understands Lauren's pain and suffering, even though they have different experiences. She also knows what it's like to hate someone so much you can taste it. Looking at herself in the mirror, she recalls the time when her own anger took a hold of her and the day her life changed forever.

**10 Years Ago-Outside El Paso, TX**

Bo thought it odd that her father suddenly had something more important come up the day they were supposed to be in El Paso, sending her brother, sister and herself to take care of business instead. All he had done recently is talk about how important this deal was for everyone and now he had something else to do? That was what she was thinking right up until the first shots were fired. As they were ambushed by the Marshall's, it occurred to her that he must have known this was coming. He had insiders everywhere, it's one of the reasons he was so unstoppable. Knowing the danger, he still sent all of his children to possible arrest or worse yet, death, but saved his own ass. Bo was furious at her father as she watched her sister get shot down right beside her. She couldn't see her brother, but men on both sides were falling victim as she helplessly held her dying sister in her arms. Bo screamed and pleaded amid a torrential rain of bullets for help that never came. She made the decision right then and there that she needed to disappear for good. This was not a life that she wanted for herself and if she didn't act soon, she would end up just like her sister.

**XXX**

**I know, it's a bit short, but I hope you like it as we begin to weave the lives of the characters together. Also, I did a Q&A on twitter along with Sydney563. If you want to find out the answers to some of the reader questions about what makes us tick, check out wantedstrangers on twitter.**


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